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Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Some Women Cook Turkeys; Other Women Date Them

Congratulations to contest winner Alyx Morgan. I used to say my epitaph would read “she never cooked a turkey although she dated a few.” The turkeys I wrestled with were never frozen, although they were definitely fresh.   Despite the fact that I was a mature woman in her mid-fifties, I was still a turkey…

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The S Word

Mine is not the generation of free-flowing dialogue about S*X. My mother’s idea of S*X education was to warn me: “Stay away from boys!”

Though profanity in two languages was part of my vocabulary from my early years, I never heard the word “S*X,” or any associated with it, like “PREG****” spoken aloud in my home or neighborhood.

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And the Beat Goes On

Congratulations to contest winner Kelly Morris (comment #14).   July is a month filled with fireworks and patriotic fervor. There is nothing like listening to a stirring rendition of The Stars and Stripes Forever to bring a tear to one’s eye. That song makes me tear up too, but only because it brings back long…

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Spring Cleaning and Buried Treasure

AND THE WINNER IS: Diana Orgain (Comment #22) With rain deterring me from my normal sunny spring diversions, I decided to engage in an annual event my mother instituted when we were kids: spring cleaning. Spring in Illinois is almost as cold and dreary as the winter months, as opposed to California, where the sun…

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How to (Really) Woo a Woman

Some years a woman will approach Valentine’s Day with a smile and anticipation. Other years she averts her eyes from the overwhelming displays of red and pink heart-shaped items that abound. Some years she may choose to TOTALLY avoid any retail establishment during the month of February. Not me–I’m in it for the chocolate! When…

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MY 2011 TOP TEN NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

AND THE WINNER IS: Cynthia Farrell (Comment #23) 10. I will never use the words “I should have or I could have” again. Yes, I should have bought Apple stock last year instead of apples. But I didn’t. So be it. 9. I will not spend $100 in order to save $50. No matter how…

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TO DIP OR NOT TO DIP

With holiday festivities in full swing, visions of sugarplums should be dancing in our heads. Unfortunately at this time of year we’re rocking out to the flu bug blues. The sweet scents of cinnamon, peppermint and pine commingle with the not so sweet aroma of Vicks Vapor Rub. Newspaper columns abound with helpful medical advice.…

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Formerly Hot (or Not)

A new book hot off the press discusses the woes of a forty-year-old mother who has just discovered that she is “formerly hot.” I would love to sympathize with the author however the only time I’ve ever considered myself “hot” was when a hot flash terrorized my body for a few brief minutes. When I…

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