How to (Really) Woo a Woman
Some years a woman will approach Valentine’s Day with a smile and anticipation. Other years she averts her eyes from the overwhelming displays of red and pink heart-shaped items that abound. Some years she may choose to TOTALLY avoid any retail establishment during the month of February.
Not me–I’m in it for the chocolate! When I walk by those garish displays, my heart always beats faster and I begin to salivate. Seriously! Pavlov would have a field day with me. And I know I’m not alone.
Did you know that more chocolate is sold on Valentine’s Day than any other day of the year? As far as I’m concerned, that’s reason enough for a holiday. My friends refer to me as a chocoholic, and it’s a status I wear proudly. Between the anti-oxidants and endorphin lift, I see no reason why chocolate isn’t its own required food group. In fact, it’s practically medicinal. Why else would my HDL be 120?
I’m also a chocolate purist. That means don’t mess with my chocolate. No nuts, no fruit. If you must smother something with chocolate I can tolerate a raisin or two, but as far as I’m concerned, this bean was meant to be savored in its true form. (As for those new bacon-flavored chocolate bars, I won’t even lower myself to discuss them. Pork and beans should meet in a pot, not in a candy.)
Men frequently wonder what to give the special woman in their lives for Valentine’s Day. Flowers are lovely, but their beauty and fragrance are short-lived. Diamonds are forever, but they are also expensive. Lacy lingerie? Honestly, who’s that gift really for?
So what’s the best way to woo me? I may as well admit it–I’m easy. Thrust a box of gooey chocolates in my direction, and I’m yours. Every day, as I savor a piece of joy from the box you personally chose for me, I’ll also savor your love.
On the other hand, I probably wouldn’t refuse a chocolate-covered diamond.
So gals and guys, I would love to have you share your best or worst Valentine’s gift or experience. (And if the best one wasn’t from or with your spouse or the worst one was, I promise not to tell.)
Since February is heart awareness month, I will donate $1.00 to the American Heart Association for every commenter on this blog. Comment by February 15th, and you’ll also be entered to win a $25 Godiva gift card.
Remember, dark chocolate is a heart-happy food.
My most inspired valentine gift was Protea from Upcountry Protea Farm on Maui. The gift that keeps on giving. Protea are just as beautiful when they dry out. Haven’t had much luck with chocolates. Well, yes I have.
Matt, I LOVE Protea. With or without a little chocolate on the side.
My best valentine’s day was the year after I’d broken up with my first serious boyfriend.
While we were dating, my boyfriend had thought V-day was a commercial holiday and thus ignored it–until I explain that yes, I knew it was stupid, but still it had a hold over me and now that I had a bf, I wanted SOMETHING from him. A card. A chocolate. A phone call. Something! So, when we were dating, he would send me roses on v-day. Very sweet! Fast forward to the first v-day after we’d broken up. Expecting (and having) a drab, depressing v-day all alone, I came home from work and found–a dozen red roses on my doorstep. It was from my ex, who said I was wonderful and should always have roses on v-day.
And that is why to this day, I always feel that there are wonderful, loving men in the world.
Cindy, I’d forgotten that story. Thanks for prodding that memory for me. This year I’ll eat chocolate in honor of all the nice guys out there.
Liz, that is a wonderful story. Can we find this ex-boyfriend and tell him he’s been immortalized in this blog? Perhaps he has a few dozen roses he’d like to place on your doorstep. My front porch will be accepting floral or chocolate donations all month!
I am knee-deep in preparations for the “big day” adding to those garish, though heart-pound-inducing displays at our balloon store (another thing that goes well with chocolate — especially chocolate from CandyStrike!) ….
But I really wanted to compliment you on all the success of your book! And the $1 donation to the American Heart Association was just one more incentive to do so! (and from a fellow chocolate-lover, I would not refuse a Godiva gift certificate if it found its way to me, either!)
Melanie, I love Candystike and your eye catching balloons. Plus that store has the best chocolate fudge in the nation. I just included some of their fudge in a goody basket for the Placerville Soroptimist’s Chocolate Affaire on Feb 12th. Talk about an event to die for – all the chocolate you can eat and port you can drink. It’s like chocolate heaven. And all for a worthy cause.
Cindy, I’m going to take this opportunity to confess a very mushy secret. My wedding anniversary is Valentine’s Day. (his idea, not mine) And that was many moons ago. But whether celebratinf V-day or Anniversary, I’m with you on chocolate. I must also confess, that unlike you, I love the addition of nuts. And dark chocolate is my favorite.
Wonderful your contributing to the Heart Association. All the best.
Madeline, that’s not mushy it’s beautiful. And a wonderful idea since your hubby will never forget your anniversary. On the other hand, did he get out of buying two presents? Now that I think about it, if you indulge in chocolate with nuts, you now have a diet full of protein and antioxidants. Good call!
Yes, chocolate is lovely. One reason i eagerly anticipate heaven is that i will be able to eat all the chocolate i want….and jelly beans. Diabetes and chocolate are contraindicated, unfortunately. (Sugar-free chocolate is still full of naughty carbs.)However, i will occasionally sneak a few M&M’s. Just the taste releases endorphins. Chocolate is also very sweet when smeared all over the face of my granddaughter. i don’t even have to taste it to get any benefit. My worst Valentine gift? A heart shaped basket filled with chocolates. Of all things, my husband gave it to me. He said he knew that i liked baskets. He ate the chocolate. i prefer flowers and he has complied ever since. Please give the monetary value of the Godiva card to the heart association should i win your contest. Hugs to you.
Sharie, you have a very practical husband and you managed to train him well. I may have to purchase one of those chocolate masques in a jar. All the fragrance of chocolate without the calories. Or I could just smear a melted Hershey’s bar on my face and save $20.00. Thanks for sharing.
Cindy, My best Valentine’s Day gift that I recall was when I was in college, living in a sorority and I won 10 lbs. (my choice) of Sees Candies in a radio contest. My roommate and I had a chocoholic’s dream visit to our nearest Sees and selected only our favorites. Of course, we had to share them with our Sisters but there were plenty left for us. But I’m afraid around me it’s a short-lived gift.
I like the idea of donating to the heart association. I hope you get many more comments.
Thanks for your comment, Kathy. You know even a chocoholic like me couldn’t handle 10 lbs. of candy although I might be up to the challenge after my new Zumba class. I hope to get many comments and write a very big check:-)
Nice post, Cindy, It’s wonderful when people can be so direct about how to best meet their needs. I’m with you, personally loving chocolate in almost any form.
I’m glad that many think of romance during Valentine’s Day and anniversaries, but I believe it should be practiced year ’round. Sharing romance and not only telling, but showing our loved one just how much they mean to us can be quite motivating to help each partner earn even more love from their partner. I offer you and your fans a FREE newsletter of Romantic Behaviors (there is no advertising, just motivators of more love) by visiting http://www.earnitbook.com/newsletter.
Many couples are taking turns reading the newsletter so that each has new ideas from which to choose to woo their partner. Let’s keep Valentine’s Day thriving–why not have a date with your special someone on the fourteenth of EVERY month? How about buying twelve Valentine’s Day cards and surprising your partner by mailing him or her one each month during the year? Keep each other a priority in your life. Isn’t that what wooing is really all about, reminding your partner how valuable s/he is to you and how grateful you are that s/he is involved in your life?
Hi Bob. You are the master at keeping relationships going. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all couples celebrated their love all year long. Thanks for sharing your wise advice.
Well, this is my most memorable Valentines Day gift…
I had just started dating Pat and Valentine’s day fell on a Sunday. I had given him cologne and a teddy bear earlier in the day and he didn’t have anything for me, which was fine. We were going to go out to dinner that night and he left my flat in San Francisco around 4:00 to go home to get ready. He came back around 6:00 to pick me up carrying a large box wrapped in Christmas paper. It turns out the only store he could find that was open between his place and mine was a fish store. He bought me a ten gallon fish tank. I would have been perfectly happy with a box of chocolates from the Walgreen’s around the corner, but at least I got a good story out of it! And yes, I married him anyway!
Wow. I’m speechless. No one has ever bought me anything fishy for Valentine’s Day. Yet. That is very inventive and kind of the start to your future menagerie (including Pat).
Every year my husband and I ask each other, “Will you be my Valentine?” Even though we both know what the other will say, I still get a thrill when he looks at me, squeezes my hand, smiles and says, “Of course, my love. Always.” Rather than give each other Valentine’s Day gifts, we try to do thoughtful things for each other each week. Sometimes he surprises me with a massage and See’s candy. Other times I cook his favorite meal and buy him a round of golf. But my favorite gift is the gift of time and presence. Making sure we connect, no matter how busy the day.
Sonja, thank you for sharing. The minute I met the two of you, I could tell how much you loved each other. Thanks for sharing the secret to a long and successful marriage. It’s those simple of acts of kindness on a daily and weekly basis that are the root of true romance.
I think this year’s Valentine’s Day is going to be one of the funniest I’ve had. A group of the girls are getting together for a book club meeting to discuss a true literary masterpiece – Chelsea Handler’s My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands. Haha! I can’t wait. I promise to have some chocolate in your honor, Cindy. I’m pretty sure the calories don’t count if I eat them for someone else. 😉
You have a very fun book club, Kelly. That book will truly be a classic one of these days. I’m chuckling just thinking about you gals critiquing her book!
My very best Valentine’s Day was my son and daughter-in-law’s wedding day.
They were married by a judge in the most private and romantic of ceremonies.
My husband and I and our daughter-in-law’s best friend were the only guests or witnesses. Then we went out for brunch at a local hotel. It was totally beautiful.
They are still very happily married and this weekend we will babysit so they can go out together and celebrate their anniversary.
HI Jacqueline. What a wonderful way to celebrate Valentine’s Day with memories of your son and daughter-in-law’s wedding. I’ll bet your grandkids will receive a little chocolate goodie from Grandma to help them celebrate too.
I’m lucky enough to have a hubby enthusiastic about anything concerning showing his love. He started the tradition of a Valentine’s Day Cake, with a candle for each year we’ve been together. He’d carry it in after dark with the candles lit. It got to the point it looked like a traveling bonfire coming across the yard! lol After expressing my concern he’d set himself on fire with any shifting breeze, for safety’s sake he started going with three candles–Our past, our present and our future. And of course he wakes me with that all important box of chocolates! It thrills me, but I asked him once why he still keeps up the tradition. He said it was because I made every day Valentine’s Day for him. Yes, I cried! And he’s a keeper!
What a lovely story, Runere. I’m sure everyone who reads your comment will be envious. You are a lucky woman and obviously he appreciates having you in his life. Thanks for providing such great romantic inspiration.
My mom and I (she’s 91) had just declared that we would be each other’s valentine. It was a lovely winter in Florida; Mom was escaping Michigan winter. We decided to pick up a few things for a pleasant Valentine’s dinner from the new Publix. The heart-shaped balloons at the door should have been a clue to something special. The store’s ligting was a smidge lower and fake candlelight was everywhere. We were greeted by a gracious hostess at a wine sampling table, the etched glasses (Publix), a gift. We also received a long-stemmed rose from a young man in a tuxedo. Throughout the store were samples that included such delicacies as chocoalate covered strawberries to beautifully displayed shrimp, meats, cheeses and a desert table. All serving tables were decked out in linen cloths and decorated. Our timing was perfect; the Valentine’s Day open house had just started and it felt like a private party. While this was not my most romantic Valentine’s Day (see my Examiner.com article by dkchristi for a romanic day) it has been one of the most memorable because an ordinary day with Mom became special by accident. I still have our etched Publix wine glasses.
Hi D.K. Nothing wrong with celebrating Valentine’s Day with Mom. That’s a special lifetime memory. Now I have to check out your Examiner article. Thanks for sharing.
Hey, Cindy–I’m with you. Bring on the chocolate. However, my husband and I celebrate Valentine’s Day around February 24, when we can get double the chocolate in the sale bin.
Author of DEAR KILLER
Coming June, 2011
I highly approve. Nothing wrong with being romantice AND practical. Thanks for sharing.
I would rather have received chocolate or roses rather than what I received years ago.
It was 1975, and I was dating this fellow who to me was the bees knees. He was going to take me out for Valentine’s Day and I was so excited. I went out and bought a new dress, pumps and got my hair and nails done. I took my time getting ready for my date. All dressed up and ready to go, I spray some perfume and walk into it just as there is a knock on the door. My heart started to beat rapidly in anticipation of the date.
I check my look in the mirror one last time before answering the door. I was going to knock his socks off! I open the door and there he is: Either he forgot to shave or his straight razor was lost. He was wearing a torn T-Shirt and dirty jeans. I wondered if the horror of this showed on my face. His hands were behind his back. He smiled and leaned in for a kiss. Then he said that he got me the best thing to celebrate the day.
From around his back he hands me a small box wrapped in white paper with little red hearts and a fake rose in the bow. Eagerly I open the gift. It was a box of, not chocolate, but chocolate flavored condoms!
Well, that was the end of the bees knees and the date never went further. I agree with you Cindy, just give me the chocolate! Real chocolate!
Wow, Barb. I’m speechless. And we all know that never happens. Thanks for the morning laugh although I wish I hadn’t been drinking my coffee when I read your comment!
This was so fun, as usual. This is just a great blogsite. I, too, love chocolates, altho I am still wondering why a one pound box of chocolates can add five pounds to my hips. Another wonder of science.
Hi Heather. Now that’s a great concept. Hip free chocolate:-)
My husband’s not the romantic sort. I’m not either, for that matter. My idea of a great Christmas present is for my family to clean out and detail the car.
I do get balloons and such for my kids every Valentine’s and generally can get DH to get me some chocolate and, every now and then, some flowers.
This year, I’m thinking of making cupcakes or something for the kids. They still have candy left from Halloween (lots of it, even though I bought the majority from them right afterward).
Hi Phyllis. I would be thrilled if I could get anyone to detail my car. There are some tiny colorful objects with an M in the center that are lurking down under.
I’ve been married for 35 years (almost 36!) to my Valentine. He’s bought me good gifts, forgotten some important days (we both have) and remembered others, but it doesn’t matter. We were driving one day, and I started to say, “I know I haven’t always been wonderful–” (I was going to tell him how I appreciated him not caring!)
He cut in with, “You’ve always been wonderful.”
I told him he got a free pass to forget my birthday, mother’s day, and Valentine’s day for the rest of his life. 🙂
LOVE chocolate, too! Great blog!
Thanks, Pauline. You and your hubby have the best relationship. He is definitely a keeper whether he shows up with chocolate or not!
Cindy, I too love chocolate and all the wonderful things you can do with it. I would tell you more, but if I did, I’d have to kill you to be sure my secret is safe. (just kidding!!!)
Have a wonderful Valentine’s day.
Well, Betty, I’ve read your books so I know how very creative you can be. Of course now I’m imagining all kinds of creative chocolate confections. Happy Valentine’s Day to you too.
One of my favorite Valentines days was with my first Valentine with my boyfriend then (Husband now!). I was a single mom, and very frugal with money! I had already told him I didn’t need fancy roses, or chocolates, so I had not expected anything, just a fun filled day. He surprised us all with huge heart shaped balloons! I think I will always remember this because the balloons floated around the house for weeks! It was like a constant reminder of him! Obviously it worked, because 19 years later, we are still Valentine Sweethearts!!!!
I love hearing these wonderfully romantic Valentine’s stories. A wonderful memory you’ll treasure forever.
Gee…Valentine’s Day has never been a day I’ve paid attention to…but I remember, back in school, on Valentine’s Day, I asked this girl I liked out on a date and she said “Yes.” That was a nice moment. 😉
Hi David. I’m not sure guys are really that into Valentine’s Day but you have a sweet memory too! I view it as the time of year when my chocolate urges can be instantly gratified.
I too am a proud chocoholic. I had always told my boyfriend at the time that I did not believe in marriage, that I did not need a piece of paper to validate our love, but I changed my mind and decided to propose to him on Valentine’s day. I was rejected. He claimed that he had plans, but I wasn’t quite sure what direction his plans pointed. The next year we took a trip to Japan, and he proposed on top of Mt. Fuji. (His proposal did not occur on Valentine’s Day) We will be married 7 years this June.
Thanks for sharing, Jessica. A proposal on the top of Mt. Fuji has now made it on my list of top 10 great proposals. Congrats on 7 years of chocolate-filled happily wedded bliss.
So, basically, the tip for the guys is: give chocolate on Valentine’s Day.
I’ll remember that, and I’ll make sure to give my girlfriend a lot of chocolate so she’ll want to share it with me 🙂
Author of The Rasner Effect series
It’s the win win solution for any Valentine’s Day. A word to the wise, don’t eat all of her favorites!
My lovely hubby never forgets my birthday, anniversary, but he once forgot Valentine’s Day. I say “once” because, upon learning that he’d completely ignored our special day, I went shopping….the diamond earrings he “bought” for me cost him a heck of a lot more than a simple card would’ve. But, he never forgot Valentine’s Day again!
I approve your proactive approach to Valentine’s Day. I’m sure you’re showered with love and chocolates every year now.
Cindy, I too am a chocoholic. And I’ve had my fair share of chocolate Valentine’s Day gifts. What stands out the most in my mind though, is not about chocolate at all. We were on a family camping trip, with kids, in-laws, and the nephew. Naturally, it was TOUGH going and stressful trying to keep that many people happy and SAFE. I was about to lose it, with blood pressure soaring in the clouds somewhere. As I stood by the fire trying to decide if I should go stick my own head in the river, my husband crossed the campsite, a little smile on his face. He stopped right in front of me and I swear, my pulse raced just because he stood so close. His eyes twinkling with glee, he reached for my hand and put a perfect heart-shaped river rock in my palm. I still have that rock…and the husband. 🙂
I love that story. Gifts don’t have to be diamonds, flowers or chocolate (although that always helps) It’s the gentle reminder of his love that make for the best memories. Thanks for sharing with all of us. He is a keeper.
The last Valentine’s Day my ex-husband and I spent together he bought scalped tickets and took me to a World Wide Wrestling Competition (think Hulk Hogan).
Was this a sign the romance was over?
Hmm, Valentine’s Day…Although I’ve never had it, my perfect Valentine’s Day would start with a shared pot of amaretto coffee, and a lazy breakfast of heart-shaped blueberry pancakes. Lunch would be a picnic somewhere rustic, serenaded by the song of water tumbling over stones (and no ants!), followed by a walk through the forest. A candlelight dinner before a cozy fire would wrap up the day – all finger foods to share. Then soft, fluffy blankets to carry us off to romantic dreamland…
Oh, wait, that script requires two participants, doesn’t it? ‘Scuse me while I start conducting casting interviews for my leading man! LOL
Mary Beth, I think you should be writing romance novels. If you need any help with your casting, let me know:-)
My sweet hubby typically has several cards for me on Valentine’s Day that he spreads out around the house for me to find throughout the day. All very thoughtful, loving and romantic; with pet names and signatures. He’s a great guy and I love him to pieces.
I too am a chocoholic, and he knows I’m not very good about ‘moderation’, so he doesn’t tempt me with it often, but when he does, he knows dark chocolate is my favorite.
God bless you for your donation to the Heart Association.
Thank you, Daisy, for sharing your hubby’s wonderful tradition. Moderation is not my middle name either. And thank you for commenting and adding to our donation effort.
When I first started to date my hubby, he showed up on Valentine’s Day with a single rose, which he claimed had more meaning than a dozen. I put him down as a cheap skate, but I married him anyway. (And no, he’s not cheap – he’s very generous. He just has some wierd ideas.)
He still gets brownie points for bringing a rose for your first Valentine’s. Some guys start slow then rev it up. And he is evidently a keeper!
My sweetie gives me candy, flowers and a beautiful card every Valentine’s Day and has for 38 years. ;0
Hi Terri. Thanks for sharing. These comments have made me realize there are alot of truly romantic guys out there. Enjoy your candy, flowers and his love.
My husband usually gives me a box of chocolates and a card signed, Love, Me. He never signs his name, just Me. It has become tradition that when we give him a card or gift we put To Me on it. He and my son usually wind up eating my box of chocolates also. We usually dine out also. I just purchased Dying For A Date on my kindle and can’t wait to read it!!
Hi Alta. I think “Me” has established a wonderful tradition. Chocolates for the whole family! Thanks so much for commenting and contributing to the American Heart Association. A special thanks for purchasing DYING FOR A DATE. I hope it brings you many chuckles.
I have had 6 wonderful Valentine’s Days in the last 6 years….i am always given a beautiful card along with my favorite Peanut Butter Hearts and then a tender kiss and hug from the man I am in love with. My children always give me a Valentine, normally one they made and the two of them give me wonderful hugs and kisses. The kids and my wonderful man tell me how much they love me and I tell them how much I love them. For me Valentine’s Day is every day of the year….every day is filled with love, hugs and kisses from the kids and my wonderful man.
Thank you for donating to the AHA, you are helping to make a difference in many peoples lives!
Hi Amy. Thanks for supporting my efforts and sharing your lovely story. Nothing like hugs and a homemade Valentine to touch the heart. Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day again this year.
When I was little, Daddy always had a sweet card, and a box chocolates for my little sister and me and of course, Mama. I remember feeling so special that Daddy would remember me on Valentine’s Day, as his daughters. This was my first lesson that you can share a holiday with others that maybe not be your “significant other” by just sending a sweet card and letting them they were thought of. This lesson will be put into gear today. My single friend is alone this Valentine’s Day and is sad. I will send her a Valentine’s Day card to let her know, though I am not a hunk asking for a date, I do love and appreciate her. You should let others know what you mean to them throughout the year and Valentine’s Day just reminds us annually to put that into action. Of course, dark chocolate sweetens the deal on every and all accounts! Happy Valentine’s Day !! XXOO
Thanks, An’gel. I agree. Valentine’s is a wonderful time to celebrate friendship and family but you are correct. Why stop there? Let’s remember those special people all year round. Thanks for sharing.
When I was younger my dad would always have me and my sister huge bears and some chocolate (mmmmmm I’m a sucker to chocolate as well) This year my boyfriend and I are long distance and see eachother about once a week so we celebrated Valentine’s Day yesterday he showed up on my doorstep with roses and a glass with my name on it full up candies and random stuff:) He then took me out to eat at Cafe Del Rio and we rode with his sister and her fiance to go get some of their wedding stuff:) It was great. As for his gift he doesn’t get it til after Valentine’s sadly but Im planning on sending it in the mail so he can get it sooner than this weekend. I got him a heart engraved necklace that says our names and on the back it says I love you with 7-22-10 on it. I already have his card but I’m planning on buying him a bear and maybe some chocolates also?
Hi Jasmine. It sounds like the two of you have the perfect romantic relationship. Flowers, candies, dinner from him. An engraved necklace and maybe a cuddly bear from you. You two are made for each other. Thanks for sharing.
Valentine’s Day and I don’t share many warm and fluffy memories. Except yesterday. I picked my almost-thirteen-year-old boy-girl twins up at school. Neither had experienced a great Valentine’s Day and were bummed, wearing mopey expressions and hanging their heads between curved-in shoulders. Instead of driving home, I whipped the car around and headed for the local grocery store, where I bought them both a big box of chocolates (with the caveat that they share with Mom, of course). Before we got back in the car, each of these almost-teenagers hugged me IN THE STORE and told me I was their favorite Valentine. Now how’s that for an awesome Valentine’s Day experience 🙂
Rochelle, that is a wonderful Valentine’s present. In fact, I think it takes the prize. You are obviously a great Mom and have raised wonderful children! Thanks for sharing.
chocolate eh? I will remember that!
Bet you didn’t know it was so simple, did you? THanks for commenting, Milton.