As the coronavirus has roared throughout the world, infecting more and more U.S. citizens, many of us, especially seniors, have had to contend with new restrictions regarding our daily movements.
But there is one situation that has particularly impacted my daily movement more than any other.
No toilet paper!
I’m supposed to be sheltering in place, but basic needs must be met. After discovering that Amazon was out of TP, I tried ordering it through Safeway.com. They had no problem accepting my toilet paper order, although it was delayed for five days due to heavy volume from other seniors also sheltering in place.
The delivery man finally knocked on my front door. I greeted him from ten feet away with bated breath. When I realized he was only holding two small bags, I almost cried. No TP for me.
COVID-19 is a dreadful and formidable disease. But as far as I know, toilet paper will not keep you from getting it!
My mother used to tell me about life during the depression when the Sears catalogue served multiple purposes, including as a bathroom tool. Those catalogues no longer exist, but I do own several thousand books. Was it time to start removing pages from my favorite mystery authors? The Classics? Mark Twain would get a kick out of my predicament. I could also destroy one of my own books. How desperate was I?
Then I realized those pages might clog up the toilet. What if I couldn’t get a plumber to come out!
With too much time on my hands, I decided to clean my garage. I gathered some Christmas lights strewn here and there and opened the door to one of my ten-foot-tall garage cabinets. As I shoved the items into a half empty shelf, I looked up. Way up. And I discovered treasure!
Twenty years ago, my teenage son purchased 30 rolls of super cheap toilet paper in order to complete the dastardly deed of decorating someone’s house with it. I found out and stopped him. The TP was subsequently stored on the top shelf, never to be thought of again. Until today.
Now if I could only find a stepladder—or a tall neighbor!
We can all use a dose of humor during this perilous period. I’d love to hear from all of you. What you’re having to deal with during this crisis and how you’re handling it. If you leave a comment by April 1, you’ll be entered into a drawing. Three people will win either a $15 Amazon gift card or a six pack of toilet paper! Your choice.