DYING FOR SOME TOILET PAPER
As the coronavirus has roared throughout the world, infecting more and more U.S. citizens, many of us, especially seniors, have had to contend with new restrictions regarding our daily movements.
But there is one situation that has particularly impacted my daily movement more than any other.
No toilet paper!
I’m supposed to be sheltering in place, but basic needs must be met. After discovering that Amazon was out of TP, I tried ordering it through Safeway.com. They had no problem accepting my toilet paper order, although it was delayed for five days due to heavy volume from other seniors also sheltering in place.
The delivery man finally knocked on my front door. I greeted him from ten feet away with bated breath. When I realized he was only holding two small bags, I almost cried. No TP for me.
COVID-19 is a dreadful and formidable disease. But as far as I know, toilet paper will not keep you from getting it!
My mother used to tell me about life during the depression when the Sears catalogue served multiple purposes, including as a bathroom tool. Those catalogues no longer exist, but I do own several thousand books. Was it time to start removing pages from my favorite mystery authors? The Classics? Mark Twain would get a kick out of my predicament. I could also destroy one of my own books. How desperate was I?
Then I realized those pages might clog up the toilet. What if I couldn’t get a plumber to come out!
With too much time on my hands, I decided to clean my garage. I gathered some Christmas lights strewn here and there and opened the door to one of my ten-foot-tall garage cabinets. As I shoved the items into a half empty shelf, I looked up. Way up. And I discovered treasure!
Twenty years ago, my teenage son purchased 30 rolls of super cheap toilet paper in order to complete the dastardly deed of decorating someone’s house with it. I found out and stopped him. The TP was subsequently stored on the top shelf, never to be thought of again. Until today.
Now if I could only find a stepladder—or a tall neighbor!
We can all use a dose of humor during this perilous period. I’d love to hear from all of you. What you’re having to deal with during this crisis and how you’re handling it. If you leave a comment by April 1, you’ll be entered into a drawing. Three people will win either a $15 Amazon gift card or a six pack of toilet paper! Your choice.
This is hilarious! I love it. Gee, if I win the TP does that mean I can turn around and sell it for two hundred bucks the way some people seem to be doing? Hmmmm.
It’s crazy isn’t it. I’m trying to figure out how I would ship it!
You could put it in one of those gigantic Amazon boxes that they use to ship one mini flashlight.
Isn’t that the weirdest thing? I have a few of those boxes. Take care of yourself.
Too funny! How is it truth is stranger than fiction? If you wrote that in a book, nobody would believe it was true. Nice find!!! If only I had a storage cabinet!
Thanks for a chuckle.
Seems like the last week has been a bit exhausting and scary..canceling a surgery, canceling doctor appts., looking at our budget, looking at our food to see how long we will make it (must have 10 Tupperware bowls of soup in the freezer!) husband “at risk” coming home for a few weeks..house is a disaster, dog is sneezing, barking, letters to send, dishes to wash, husband is bored..”nothing to do???” JUST sat down to rest my sciatica..and my cell phone drops into the couch and the couch has to be lifted to get it out….to heck with it…can’t move…
Oh, those are way too many things for you to contend with. I’m so sorry. Sending you a giant virtual hug. Hang in there.
I’ve heard of searching through all your coats hoping to find a lost $20 in a jacket pocket or maybe some loose change in a couch when you are completely broke but cleaning out our garages and storage facilities in hope’s of finding some lost toliet paper or water bottles is definitely worthy of a disaster novel.
I’m glad you found some. I myself just ordered industrial sized rolls and quality TP myself from Amazon. Single ply 4,000 sheet XO brand is fine for my tooshie.
I tried ordering on Amazon and they said none in stock. Didn’t even offer a delivery date of late April. Lucky you!
You did hit the jackpot! We have a neighborhood Facebook page on which a neighbor who works at the nearby grocery updates us on deliveries. A lot of us design our schedules around those pallet deliveries. What a time! Take care.
Gloria, you are so lucky. We’ll have to organize something like that.
Send me one pack of toilet paper. Hard to find around here. My husband is on shorter hours. This is really a hard time for everyone. I hope I win so I can get some to. …
It’s so crazy. Good luck, Cindy!
Have been recovering from surgery so didn’t get normal shopping done. Fortunately daughter went through our garage and basement, found a 24-pack of TP and some rolls of paper towels. Unfortunately, the 25 pounds of rice we normally buy is down to 5# remaining. Guess these two elders will just have to eat less rice, more beans. 😃😆
Fortunately, got my cervical fushion surgery completed and neck brace off with final DR. Appt finished. Now, waiting till April to see if I should get CT scan in prep for oncologist vist (postponed due to neck surgery). Fortunately, slow growing “C”.
I worry more for daughters family and grandson. They’ve been sick with intestinal issues, so now I figure they have joined me in the susceptible group.
MY PRAYERS FOR THEM and EVERYONE else that this CVirus passes by without touching them.
Oh, Diana, you are dealing with so much. I’m glad you were able to get your cervical surgery completed. Good luck with the slow growing C. I can relate to that. Prayers for you and everyone in your family.
Love that TP wrapped group photo! Must be Australians! 😉
According to m family who live is Oz, there was a panic buy of TP, which was the top essential when this all started; I wouldn’t know as I live in the UK, but we are pretty much out of everything here, never mind TP! Empty shelves, but supermarkets are stepping in, limiting items and allowing an hour each morning for only elderly and frontline workers to shop. Keep well, everyone
In the future, I hope the stores remember to ration. Take care, Carol.
At first the TP was mildly amusing, but it’s now getting close to a need, and I still do not understand how these people think hoarding it will keep them safe! Although two friends have supplies they offered to share, and another has a husband who has a warehouse of paper goods because he sells to hospitals and other businesses so I can possibly get some from them, if he hasn’t sold out.
For shipping, the post office would pick up from you, but it has to priority mail and postage on line and they probably, being the post office, won’t do it now.
Hmmm. I wasn’t really sure how that would work. I do have some priority boxes in my garage but I would still have to take them out to be mailed. Thanks for the update.
this is funny. I would go for the book over tp. We bought tp right before the big buy but it was to restock our 4 bathrooms not to hoard and re sale it. Wow what people do. No offense just think it is crazy. I don’t like to run out of tp so I would like it available to everyone not buy and resale it.
I agree. Crazy times!
WOW! So, that’s where all the to went. I was wondering. I haven’t seen any of those tp-mummies yet, but there’s always tomorrow!,
Stay safe – Alice
Thanks, Alice. You take care.
Love it! Kim
Glad you liked it! Take care.
It has been rather a nightmare with people going bonkers trying to find toilet paper. I can imagine that yiu thiught that you had found gold when you found that tp.
That is exactly how I felt, Marlene. It’s a little on the wispy side, but probably better than the pages of a book!
Gotta wonder how many other parents of teens have TP tucked away in the garage, forgotten . . .
Interesting question. Who knew some day….
Cindy, thank you. In addition to a huge dose of common sense , humor is a necessity to continue continuing on!
I’m glad you agree! Hang in there.
Hysterical. Such a time capsule for this period of our lives.
Sad but oh so true!
Oh, my kingdom for a roll of toilet paper!
That’s hilarious!
If you need some toilet paper – I got you covered! My dad was ex military and we NEVER ran out of toilet paper when I was growing up – I guess my dad was right and I have followed in his footsteps!
I guess we’ve all learned a valuable lesson. I’ve got this new supply of old TP once I can figure out how to get it down!
Have you thought of knocking it down with a broom handle? You know, that broom that you made stand up by itself a couple of weeks ago and brought all this about……… According to some “specialists” anyway. At least one of whom we went to school with & is known for his “wit” . LOL! btw, is you son demanding his “share” of the hoard???? Love ya, dear old Friend! Stay safe!!!!! <3
I’m not sure my broom is long enough. Also, there is a box sitting on top of all the TP. I think it contains something fragile! Just emailed my son. He lives 120 miles away but it might be worth the drive for him! Hugs.
Our son manages a Family Dollar store in LA so he sent us a box of TP when he got a delivery. We then traded 6 rolls to our neighbors for 3 bananas and a loaf of homemade bread. Such a deal.
That’s so funny. Who knew TP would be so valuable!
got me laughing as well ….
Glad I could help!
Love this, Cindy!
Thanks,Shelley. I hope you’re doing okay!
Dear Sears,
Please bring back your thick catalog to ease our TP shortage. You were our Chamin during my childhood. One page per use. First, readers, you take a page and crush it in both hands until page is wrinkled and soft. It’s softer than pricey Charmin. And what charmin can’t deliver, Sears offers you a variety of images, from men in briefs or women in nighties or even a tractor if you want something stronger. Relax folks, there is always the Sunday NYTimes, if Sears fail us.
Frances, you are the best. Thank you for your wise advice!
LOL – who would ever think that they would miss Sears catalog. Can’t flush the TP (others papers beside that) – Put a garbage bag in the trash can in the bathroom. Wipe and then put in garbage can and tie the bag. Grandma said that a corn cob wasn’t too bad to use to wipe. Maybe that is why I won’t touch corn on the cob. Too bad she is dead – otherwise I would ask here if she used it with the corn on it or did she use it after the corn was gnawed off. I am truly blessed to have a bidet – as long as the water is flowing.
I stocked up in February on groceries and stocked my sister up with 36 mega rolls of TP. Then I got lucky when I wanted to see why people were standing in line at Sams Club a couple of weeks ago. They had just had a truck come in with 150 (12 rolls) of paper towels, 5 (80 count) containers of antiseptic wipes, and drum roll please, 70 (32 mega rolls) of toilet paper. Those items went so quick it was not even funny. I was 26th person in line with a total of almost 200 people in line. Everyone was limited to two items each. Well I got lucky or should I say my family members in other states got lucky that I got two of item – tp, paper towel and antiseptic wipes. The first 35 people that had individual accounts the toilet paper. They could not share a membership card. So I went home and made care packages for my mom, my aunt, my sister and sent them some of each. I still have some left over. I told them if they got down to the last 4 rolls they need to let me know. I ordered a 24 mega roll tp. for mom, she actually got it delivered today and she was doing the dance. She is in her 80s and she is sharing bulk items with her neighbors. Or I should say her neighbors are dancing with her.
Well done. Your family is lucky to have you taking care of all of them!
Aminah, the corn cobs that your grandmother referred to were from field corn grown mostly as cattle feed. Once the corn has dried and has been shelled the cobs were gathered and saved to use in the outhouse. I have not tried it myself, but have felt the cobs after shelling before and they aren’t nearly as rough as you would imagine.
Interesting. Thanks, Norma.
Thanks for the laugh Cindy. I too was rummaging out in the garage but didn’t score like you did. I found sidewalk chalk. My daughter is 25 yrs old, so you know it’s been buried out there for some time. I plan to use it, like I see other kids using it. I’m going to leave some positive messages for the walkers in my neighborhood. You take care dear lady!
It’s amazing what you can find if you live somewhere long enough. I love your idea!
Lol. If only I can find same treasures in my garage cabinet.. However, I do still have stacks of magazines that I have been meaning to read the last 4 years! 😉
Well, you probably have time now! I’ve also been going through several decades of photos.
Make sure you read them on the toilet and then you can wipe using pages that you don’t want to keep.
Love it, Cindy! A great feel good ending! 😀
Thanks, Jody. I guess you never know what treasures are hiding in your garage!
Toilet paper has been no problem, since I get a case every 6 mo via Amazon’s Subscribe n Save & still have 2 unopened cases. Distilled water, which I need in my oxygen concentrator in order to stay alive, is a different story, however. WHY are people hoarding distilled water? I get that they could use it for cleaning purposes but I understand that you do not want to try drinking it.
Wonderful neighborhood that I live in, I had friends (as well as family) looking in several different towns for me, unable to find me any. When I poured the last of mine in the concentrator this week and was starting to panic a little, a neighbor gave me her partly used bottle. Two days later, she was able to find me a huge jug of it in another city, where she had gone to help her mother.
So I’m alive, breathing, thankful and Coronavirus-free (knock on wood) & have offered my Amazon products to several. I was already quarantined by my doctor during flu season, so this is almost three months that I’ve been homebound. It’s starting to get old. I’m reading at least five books a day, so I could stand to win one of those Amazon gift cards! 😊
Hi Louise. People are buying bottles of water like crazy here even though we have an excellent public water supply. I can’t imagine why they are stocking up on distilled water. I’m glad you have neighbors who keep an eye on you. Stay healthy. Hugs.
Too funny. The trials and tribulations of the toilet paper hunt. Unfortunately for some it’s a difficult time. I was lucky to buy some before the craziness .
Thank you for the humorous blog
When you order online whether it is from your local store or Amazon – explain to them why you need it and let them know that you don’t have any. BTW what state are you in? Maybe this group can wrack their brains to see where you can get some. Also contact your doctor – they might be able to help. Also check your pharmacy and they might be able to hold some for you.
Great suggesions, Aminah. Thank you.
Worried about running out, knowing the stores were empty after checking inventory on several early-morning recon runs, I resorted to bribing my friends for toilet paper. Sent an email to 11 friends, suggesting I would trade some apple bread in my freezer for TP. I am now the recipient of 4 rolls of toilet paper and a friend is loving the bread. (I gav the rolls to my son who was in desperate need for some. So the offer is still open to trade bread for tp for my household.)
Apple bread sounds great. Once I can access this TP! I’ll keep you posted.
I have 9 rolls left. I hope my local store has a delivery tomorrow. I have 3 boxes of kleenex and a package of napkins. But, you blog made me think. There may be a roll in the camping box…..
I’m hoping things get back to normal this week. In North Carolina the police found a stolen semi packed from one end to the other with TP! Can you imagine?
Very funny, Cindy, I can picture your dilemma now. On a recent buying trip we asked our senior neighbors what we could buy for them as their transportation was marginal at best. After visiting three stores we could only get one 4-pack of TP for our neighbors as the store limited the purchase. Thankfully, the store did limit the purchase as no other store had any. Crazy! People, be realistic, help your neighbors and maybe, unlike me, hold up on the simplification/ culling and you too may find stashed TP from your now 40-year-old kids.
It’s so crazy. You are a very good neighbor. We all miss you guys.
Thank you Cindy! We can always count on you to make us laugh, even in difficult times.
This blog reminded me of Erma Bombeck, who I miss terribly.
You are such a wildly entertaining woman and I’m so glad that you’re in my life!
I don’t need the T.P. (I buy it at Target and get gift cards by purchasing with paper towels and laundry detergent). And the gift card can go to another reader as well. Just wanted to have my say.
I always love hearing from you, Debbie. And I’m glad you’re well stocked! I may have to hit up Target during senior hours although they start awfully early. But at least they should have TP on their shelves at that time!
Most stores I know are holding senior hours but they are like 6:30-8:30 am. But if you really look at it they are giving them first access to what is in the store – bright and early ad right after they put out stock..
The Sears catalogue brings back good memories of the two seater outhouse at my grandparents’ farm in Wisconsin. No one was that eager to use it, but I really loved visiting them and hanging out in the barn while my uncle milked the cows. I suppose we all need to buy a cow now – Raleys was completely out of milk this morning!
My neighbor was able to pick up a quart for me last Thursday but I’m doling out smaller amounts than usual for my morning coffee. I lived on a farm in Woodstock, Illinois and we had an outhouse, too. Not as deluxe as your grandparents though!
I always love reading your books and blogs and I didn’t expect that ending Cindy! It’s a good thing you stopped Jeff 30 years ago and now I know where to go! I loved your reference to finding a “tall” neighbor! I felt that may be directed at me:)
Ha ha. Well, it was directed to your hubby! Although if you want to drag a ladder over here and climb up you’re welcome!
Thanks for the laugh. Love the foiled TP-ing flashback. Odd how much we wanted to do that as a kid. You’ve gotten the karmic win for good parenting. Stay safe!
I’m not sure why I didn’t send the TP off to college with him, but I’m glad I didn’t! You stay safe as well.
So I’m wondering if the people buying up all the hand sanitizer are those who had no luck finding toilet paper? 🤔
Thanks for that image!
That’s hilarious and perfect. Good karma!!!!!
Thanks, Elaine. I’ll take good karma any day of the week!
This made my day so much, Cindy! Please keep posting. 🙂
Thank you, Lisa. Hope you have a sunny week!
I’m anticipating a run on bidets! Our camp director used to advise everyone at church camp: if there’s no TP, we recommend using pine cones or poison ivy. Yowza!
I remember a poison ivy story or two from my college days. Not my story, thank goodness.
Cindy, so glad you found some TP stashed away. They say everything happens for a reason. Maybe the reason your son chose to TP a house and you stopped him in time was because the TP gods knew that 20 years later you’d need that TP. Thanks for the best laugh I’ve had in days!
Yes indeed. Must have been the TP gods. Thanks, Lois, for that laugh.
LOL! Restrictions impacting our daily movements!!!!!!! Genius. Can’t stop laughing!
I’m glad I could give you guys a laugh! Stay well!
Cindy,
We have toilet paper, but I did wind up making unusual purchases on my last grocery run. For some reason, all the white eggs were gone, only brown organic ones were left. Our local grocery also introduced a special hour for oldsters to shop. Not sure it offered more protection as the cashier lines were clogged and we were only a grocery cart or less apart. However, I have found the perfect way to achieve social distancing–weed your yard! Not a soul offered to help me or came within 30 feet! Take care of yourself. Love your humor, friend.
I get to try my first senior shopping next Tuesday at the Safeway. They offer 6:00 to 9:00 hours which are much more doable than the 6:00 to 7:00 AM at WalMart. Good grief! Although I anticipate it will be PACKED!
This is so funny. I also tried to imagine a world where toilet paper is like money, a piece at a time. Then I rambled off to a SF story of teenagers trying to TP a house with paper money. Too much time on my hands.
Thanks for the meme.
Now that is a SF story!
OMG, this is so perfect and so funny! Laughing like crazy!
I figured we could all relate! Take care.
Love this!! Nice to have a good laugh
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Sheila. Take care!
1990’s TP to the rescue! This feels very “Back To The Future”. 😉 Hilarious!
I have a tricky immunity system due to Sjogren’s, rhuematoid arthritis, among other health issues. It has made me worry and stress when I need to go outside of my home or when one of my family members have to go out. There is so much still unknown. Finally I have placed my worries in God’s hands and hope for the best.
Hi Robin. I have a compromised immune system from Lyme disease and chemo so I can relate. The gyrations I go through wiping down my groceries, door handles etc. are mind boggling. Sending you a virtual hug.
So funny. Thanks for the humor, Cindy. If you don’t have a ladder, maybe you could borrow one from a neighbor so you can get your TP stash from the top shelf? Or stand on a chair or something? Fortunately, my daughter is a manager at CVS, and she managed to get me some toilet paper. There’s no toilet paper to be found in the stores around here.
Thanks, Rachele. The TP is 4 1/2 feet over my head (just realized they are 10 foot cabinets) with a box on top of it that I fear may contain some wine glasses so I can’t just whack them onto the floor. My neighbors just returned home last night so I will have relief shortly! Lucky you. Good to have friends in high places!
Too funny – I thought I was fully stocked only to realize my couponing “hoard” was only paper towels, not toilet tissue. So the online hunt began on Amazon, Walmart, Sam’s Club, etc. and as poor Mother Hubbard discovered all the shelves were bare including my local grocery and hardware store. I finally was able to get one package via Amazon but when I went to reorder it is displaying now as “currently unavailable”. So all the options I had identified after my initial search was unsuccessful – tissues and napkins – are still possibilities!
I fortunately had a supply of Kleenex. Very helpful. Good luck to you!
Too funny. The trials and tribulations of the toilet paper hunt. Unfortunately for some it’s a difficult time. I was lucky to buy some before the craziness .
Thank you for the humorous blog
In the future, I think we will all have a huge supply of it tucked away. Take care.
Love this – I couldn’t find hand sanitizer anywhere and then I remembered that I had used it in the garage last summer to remove some labels. It was still there – a GIGANTIC bottle. You never know what you’ll find cleaning when you haven’t done it in forever.
Same here. I found a contained of Redi Wipes under my laundry room sink. It must be 15 years old but had never been opened. Good as new! (at least I hope so). Take care.
Just be darn sure you know what poison ivy looks like!!
Keep the faith and stay healthy and safe.
I’m in California now so it’s dreaded poison oak for us! You take care too.
I so needed this laugh today! My two grandchildren have moved in with me for their safety (and mine) as their mommy is on the front lines in her job as xray tech at a local hospital. My other family members are also essential workers so I spend my days worried. I am trying to get the hang of homeschooling with a full course load and housework and three energetic furbabies stuck inside! Thanks so much for this outlet from my heightened anxiety.
Oh my goodness, your hands are full. What a workload. I’m glad this could put a smile on your face. Sending you a virtual hug.
Loved the blog, it is so funny. Glad you found the TP stash. You never know what is hiding in cabinets, sometimes it is golden opportunities. Love the TP people, now that we know who is hording all the TP we can mug them for some. (hehe) Thanks for the laugh, it is appreciated very much.
I was astounded the first time I saw on the news, a woman with a pallet full of toilet paper. No food, but she has paper! I would how it will taste when she runs out of other things. I personally fall back on what I learned while living in Morocco. Water, a rubber glove and soap. You are ever so clean and having a low poop tolerance, the glove saved me from hurling every visit. Soap , so that I can reuse the glove. Did that for 5 years.. I never felt the loss of toilet Paper. I do now, but not as much as some I guess.
some people are so clever and are using it for our good. thanks for the chuckle.
I enjoyed your story.We are ok for to but our Wegmans is out of eggs and chicken. Is there a joke there?
Some people just can’t help but get all wrapped up in any kind of problem or in themselves. These people not only have too much time on their hands but seem to have a shortage of common sense. It is hard to have an abundance of TP when people hoard it and store rations it.
I managed to get a package of TP last week at the store, but am having a hard time finding meat. Had some on my Fresh Thyme order but it was out of stock. I need more wine!
Wow!! Who would have ever thought life would change in such a short time.
Thanks for the laughter. I have three grandchildren living next door and, thanks to them using too many paper towels, I had to keep plunging. Later that night my daughter and her husband drove across town and dropped off a huge package of TP. (I did not share with my son and his family next door.) I always share everything but not MY toilet paper!
My brain is battling right now. On the one hand, TP!!!! On the other hand, 20 years old, it must have expired by now. Then I face palm, it’s TP, how in the world would it expire? So I’m happy, TP! Then, expiration?? Just like what is going on nowadays, my brain keeps getting derailed by old, mundane worries. It’s like always hitting the light switch when you go into a room, even though you are holding a flashlight because there is a power outage. And so it goes, ’round and ’round.
Of all the things that you could have found, I think that this is one of the best, congrats!
Ordered delivery from Walmart including toilet paper and paper towels. Nope, didn’t get them. Found some at Rite Aid so I got a mega pack of Charmin (12 = 48), a two-pack of big rolls of paper towels, and one cheaper roll. Ordered tissues from Walmart and instead of three normal boxes they brought a four pack of boutique cubes with lotion. I don’t like lotion so my dad can use those. In February at Kroger I bought a big pack of T.P., 30 double rolls = 60. This was before the hoarding began.
You are in good shape. Safeway was still out today and this was during early senior shopping hours. I can’t even get them to deliver anymore. They are completely overbooked.
That’s hilarious! I live in a senior/disabled community and stocked up on TP knowing I’ll probably have neighbors borrowing it soon.
I am the designated gogetter. My 68 yr old husband is having difficulty walking and my 90 yr old mother is bedridden. Raiding supplies at my house and bringing them to my mother’s house as we spend our time there. Only hitting the stores if absolutely necessary. Stay safe and do not risk falling trying to reach that TP.
!oved the picture of people wrapped in TP. I have asked many people why everyone was buying/hoarding TP ? Now I understand!!! Who knew???? I have been in the medical field for 50 years and never knew of the wonderful healing powers of TP.
You have to wonder how this all got started! Take care.
I have spare socks…lots of them in my laundry room. So if I win you know what I want 🙂
Ha ha. Good luck!
I just think we have all gone crazy and I’m not one that has been in a “quarantine” yet, however, I am only making “necessary” stops and limiting them as quickly as possible.
Excellent. You take care.
Laughter is always the best medicine. You do your share keeping us smiling. Good luck retrieving the elusive TP. Is it possible, after 40 years, that when you get it down, it will have disintegrated into dust? Isn’t that what it’s supposed to do? Best luck in the quest.
I have no idea what shape it will be in. If there wasn’t a box on top which I fear contains something fragile, I would just try knocking them down. P.S. Did you see your name listed in the newsletter?
Well, I always have toilet tissue, but when I saw others buying cases in late February, so did I although I only bought 1 case as well as another case of water, & another case of paper towels since I am well stocked. So I think I am good for now. I started thinking about Dying for a Double which takes on a whole new meaning these days. Double Rolls of toilet tissue, Double Ply, Two-fold; this could drive you a bit crazy! Onward, I did load my cart at Costco & Trader Joe’s with cases of Wine for our Wine Cave & a few extra bottles of rum & tequila plus mixers. Antiseptic hardly, but might clean something if we get desperate! Anytime there is a sale I buy more just in “case”. As you know in Georgia we pay more for our wine than we did in California so we “LOOK” for sales for what we like so we can share. Our social distancing in our neighborhood has ended up on driveways with us 6 – 9 feet apart enjoying our drinks late afternoons meeting new neighbors for a short period of time or a shout-out while walking the pets in the neighborhood. Everyone take care!
Smart woman. I’ve seen more neighbors out walking this past week than I’ve seen in years! No late afternoon celebrations yet but lots of smiles and yelling from six feet away!
I live by myself so I thought 4 rolls would be enough. I never dreamed people would hoard toilet paper. I’m 77 so last Tues. the 17th I went to the store at 6 in the morning. No meat, no paper products, can goods gone. I did buy fresh strawberries, and a frozen pizza. We need to think of others
Who would ever think TP needed to be hoarded like that? I heard of one woman who had 3 shopping carts full a couple of weeks ago. Good luck with the shopping. I get to try my first senior shopping trip tomorrow. I hope they’ve been able to restock!
Haha!!!!!!!!!! Looks like they jumped ahead of schedule and mummified theirselves before catching the virus. I laughed reading all the comments. My first trip to the store a couple days ago, I was in shock, no meat, no eggs, very little bread, no butter, no milk. I only went in to get a few things so i didn’t go down every aisle, but they looked pretty empty. I am so happy I live in the country, surrounded by wildlife and creeks. We won’t go hungry. I am glad you found some TP and wish everyone good health and praying we all find the things we need when we need them. We decided if worse comes to worse, we will cut up old sheets. I have a few of them, I usually make rugs out of them, glad I have a pile on hand LOL.
That’s a new suggestion. We’re all going to file that away. Thanks, Penny. You take care.
Your picture was good for a laugh in this time of stress. My husband is a believer in buying in bulk something I don’t always agree with but he did buy TP in bulk so we are set for now and he got a big kiss.
Your hubby must be very pleased with himself. Take care, Sharon.
Love your story and the meme is hilarious! My daughter happened to find a stock guy at Walmart opening a box in the paper goods aisle–and it was TP! She got us a large pack, no more, lol. Hang in there, and thanks for your fun post!
Great timing for your daughter and you!
Too funny! I still had a package from a bulk buy at Sam’s Club. My problem was running out of flour. Since we’ve been stuck at home my daughter has been baking overtime! Finally found some this morning!
I was grateful I had a full bag of protein shake mix. That could become my new diet!
I know I don’t have any of that treasure in my garage, but cleaning out my in laws 5th wheel trailer I found a huge package of Costco TP. Unfortunately the mice found it way before me and nothing usable was left.
Well, that is interesting. And from 4 1/2 feet away, I think my old TP has resisted any mice. Good to know!
Those super trendy protection suits would certainly explain the shortage! Children are a blessing, even though you didn’t think so at the time!.What did your son say about your find?
He didn’t think it would come back to haunt him 20 years later. He also wishes he didn’t live 120 miles away!
But mummie – the store only let me have (3) rolls
Ha ha!
Love that TP wrapped group photo! Must be Australians! 😉
According to m family who live is Oz, there was a panic buy of TP, which was the top essential when this all started; I wouldn’t know as I live in the UK, but we are pretty much out of everything here, never mind TP! Empty shelves, but supermarkets are stepping in, limiting items and allowing an hour each morning for only elderly and frontline workers to shop. Keep well, everyone
The supermarkets here are now offering senior hours, although 6:00 to 7:00 AM is a wee bit early for me. And it’s still dark then! You stay well, too.
Of course we need all the humor we can get, especially now. My husband laughed but said it was a perfect example of people having too much time on their hands. (I would guess those hands are wrapped in t.p.!)
Crazy, isn’t it? Take care, Lois.
Lol…my son in law works at Wal-Mart. He couldn’t get any tp himsef…lol…a co worker bought him a six pack was soon as their shipment came in❤❤no hamburger or cleaning supplies to be found😭😭
Lucky to have a nice co-worker like that. Crazy times.
I just saw an add to ask how you wanted to pay 1, toilet paper 2, Visa 3, Amex
Funny and sad at the same time! Thanks for sharing, Nancy.
My husband was in the hospital for a week and got out the 14th just before they banned visitors. I was a nervous wreck walking through and using the bathrooms. My hands started cracking. (Trader Joe’s rose hand cream seems to work for me.) As I was asking at the desk where to park to get him out, a woman came up next to me and asked what she should do because she might be ill. The volunteer waved me away, but more stress. One more week to see if I have symptoms. We are 70, my husband had a heart attack in June and I have immune problems. I got flour and yeast, no bread, no meat, no paper, etc. Enough venting for me.
You made my day and I read this to my husband. We both had a wonderful laugh and lightened our day. So many memories-outhouses, Erma Bombeck, stories of the depression and how they got through it. We will get through this too. Some things we are doing:
Bag tissues, paper towel, book pages etc. that you use for toilet needs, just like diapers and personal products and put them in the trash to save the pipes.
Stock up on shelf stable almond milk to bake and cook oatmeal.
Debbie Meyers green containers are making our fruit and veggies last longer-good thing because they are scarce.
Well, I have to find out how to cook broccoli rabe. That was available. We are discovering new foods- a plus.
Stay safe, well and sane. Keep the funny stories coming.
Glad you and your hubby are doing okay. It’s so scary to visit the hospital now. I had to get my port flushed last week but fortunately my Kaiser office was a ghost town. I appreciate all of your pointers. You both take care.
love these characters love them
Very funny, Cindy. We did not worry about what we would eat, but we, too, have fretted about being out of toilet paper. My parents stood in line for potatoes during the Depression. Who would have thought we would stand in line for toilet paper. Amazon took my order for TP, but can’t deliver it until May, lol. We have some of that thin TP from years ago when we moved from the Bay Area to EDH. It’s one ply, and needs to be really bunched up to do any good. It’s back-up paper just in case. Thank God my spouse enjoys the same movies I do on Netflix. Now my worry is that we will see all the movies and not have any choices. Jim is watching game shows, even brain dead things like Cash Cab—something one wouldn’t watch before. Keep writing. It’s what we authors do inside anyway. Birth of more books later this year for sure 🙂
Crazy times. We’re lucky we are used to isolating in order to get our books written! Take care.
Ha ha, I love this little post. We all need a bit of sunshine in our lives these days and it’s wonderful that you are able to share such a humourous story. I truly hope you found a way to get it down safely!
Glad I could bring a little sunshine into your life. Take care of yourself.
We are aficionados of Kirkland TP, sold by Costco, which comes in 24 or 36 roll packs. Not sure which, but we always have a goodly supply on hand.
Very wise. I’ve seen photos of empty shelves across the country. I know our local Costco was out for quite some time. Take care, Virginia.
Now you will have everyone running to their garage in high hopes!!! LOL
Ha ha. I hope they find some!
you would think this virus gave everyone diarrhea!!
I am always stocked up on TP. When my mom passed my sister and I split her stock. I did not have to buy TP for 3 months just from moms stock. That was with 5 family members in the house. LOL
Right now I have 100 rolls in my stock . Also I have lot of wash rags. Think cloth diapers that we used on our babies. Wash out and reuse.
You’re in better shape than my local Safeway. Good for you!
That’s so funny! Treasure!
On Friday I was in a truck with 4 co-workers returning to Canada, about 30 miles from the border in Bellingham, Washington. We passed an old man driving an older truck with an old camper and BC plates. The back seat was piled to the roof with packages of toilet paper which caused all of us to laugh. At the border crossing when the agent asks “do you have anything to declare?” How does he answer? “Bad diarrhea?”
That is hysterical. Thanks so much for sharing. Stay safe!
Thanks for the laugh.
You are welcome. Glad it gave you a chuckle or two!
I Love This. It is hilarious. When I was a kid at Halloween some of the other kids would sometimes wrap themselves is TP . This reminds me of that.
You’re right. I remember those days. Sure wouldn’t want to waste it now!
Thank you for the laugh, sure needed it
Stay safe.
Glad you liked it. You take care as well.
That is SO funny!! It is like you hit the jackpot at the casino! LOL…who would have EVER thought that finding a stash of toilet paper could make your day?! I needed to hear some good news and this is wonderful! Thanks for letting us in on this.
Thanks, Jamie. You are correct. I don’t think I ever smiled so wide! Take care.
Finally! Something I can do with the 6 boxes of books I have’t opened since my last move (after I donated about 12 boxes to my local library). Thanks for the great idea if I can’t get into a Costco before the last roll is unspun. I, too, thought of the sears Roebuck catalog, but they’re long gone from my house.
Glad I could be of service!
Thank you for the laughter! We scored on the TP today. Hubby stood in line!
Staying in and keeping a level head. Stay safe
Lucky you. Keep staying in and staying safe!
I would love to win the 15.00 gift card. The toilet paper is funny. That’s the one thing we can’t figure out about the toilet paper, lol. I love the jokes on Facebook about it. But I’m ready for this to be all over. I was put on a 14 day quarantine because I just came back from California and was in Chicago. 9 days left. But we have some great people around us. They are doing my shopping for me. But I’m getting stir crazy. Wished I stayed in California.
We’re all in isolation here in California, too, Cathy. My neighbor has been bringing me a few things and several others have also offered to help. People have really been very kind given this dreadful situation. You take care of yourself.
Love it
Thank you for sharing your story, and for the smile you put on my face. Thank you for this chance!
Glad I could help!
I laughed out loud at both this post and your newsletter (especially the Wilson comment😄). I’m happy for you finding that cache of toilet paper. Luckily, we haven’t experienced any shortages thus far, but this whole experience has opened my eyes to my own wasteful behavior. I’m now much more thoughtful and conservative in my use of household and personal products. Leftovers are being used rather than languishing in some dark corner of my fridge only to be tossed later. Thank you for your uplifting humor. Chins up everyone! We’re in this together and together we’ll get through it!
Thanks for your positive response, Marla. I agree that we are all learning that less is more these days!
It drives me crazy that some people don’t keep extra tp on hand 😉 but even more so that they are hoarding tp for a virus that is not GI related. Good grief people- the supply chain in still working!
Difficult to think we have to set rules for buying TP! Take care.
Whatever works!
That you for breaking up the stress. I do have to wonder where all the toilet paper is going.
You are welcome. I wonder if it will show up on eBay?
Right before the quarantine I visited “Friends of the Library” to stock up on some books. I scored a copy of Dying for a Dance!
I live about 75 miles SW of El Dorado County and enjoy reading about places that I have often visited.
As for the TP situation, I am confounded by the unnecessary need of the masses to stockpile something that has no bearing on the virus. Someone in our community sent out a request to our neighbors on FB asking those who had extra to drop a couple of rolls on her porch, and those who desperately needed a few rolls to drop a note with their address. Neighbors are offering to shop for others, we organized a “shamrock ” hunt by placing homemade clovers in windows and in doors for the younger kids to “find” on a walk with their parents. At our house I am finding the time to teach my teenage boys how to make things from scratch, because now we all have the time. (I am an essential worker- dispatcher for a school district PD, but my schedule allows for several days off in a row, followed by several days on shift). Even as I shake my head over the greed of some, I am delighted that so many are reaching out to others in this unusual situation.
Thanks for your uplifting stories. I do think families will find they are enjoying spending more time together. And I hope you enjoy DYING FOR A DANCE! Take care.
Thanks for the laugh, Cindy.
So you almost have found TP, but it’s not in your hands!?
If you asked a neighbor for help (borrow a ladder), would you have to share your precious goods?
They definitely deserve a finders fee (or something)!
They are not my kids…lol. But if I find them, I will unwrap them. We still can’t find toilet paper yet.
I’m envisioning people whose extra bedrooms are wall to wall TP!
Thank You for the wonderful gift card giveaway Cindy This was the best laugh I have had all day Love it! We have to stay in for 2 weeks will be so glad when this passes! We can go to the store or dr. or to the pharmacy I Loved the post where you was talking about The Sears and Roebuck catalog!
Glad I could put a smile on your face! I’m in the same spot you are. Tomorrow is my first senior shopping trip. Yay!
It’s a world gone crazy. It’s heartbreaking. What gets me, does no one remember how to use rags for TP? Use, soak in a cleaner if you need to, wash, dry, reuse. Ideal, no. Better than leaves… that depends on where you live. The upside is trucks are still running so supplies will come. Hang in there, and don’t become a mummy!
Ha ha. Very practical common sense ideas. Thanks, Carol.
Cindy, Thank you for sharing! 🙂
I’m trusting in the Lord to turn this situation around for our good and His glory!
Sure hope so, Caryl. You take care.
Mums the word. Laughs from Costa Rica!
I’m jealous. Enjoy!
We are hanging out in Arizona at our winter home til this blows itself out as it’s still snowing back home in Michigan anyway. Unfortunately that means I’m unable to attend the passing of an uncle if a funeral were allowed, or go and help out 2 of my 3 children with their layoffs, and acquiring their needed supplies. Other than that we are doing jigsaw puzzles, reading voraciously and utilizing prime movies, DVDs and Hallmark marathons lol. Enjoying our sunshine, walks, and bike rides at 6 ft respective distances from all the other Resort residents doing the same. We were just given notice our fitness center was closed, cantina and restaurant closed, we can still golf and shop at golf shop lol.
You’ve got great weather which sure helps the isolation. Enjoy that sunshine!
I don’r understand people hoarding toilet paper. I guess it doesn’t go bad according to your post. Thanks for the humor it is needed.
It actually didn’t although it’s in more of a shredded form. I finally whacked a six-pack down last night with my grabber!
I’ve had to take our roll of toilet paper off the holder to keep my cat from wasting it. Normally it’s not an issue, but since several of the local stores I do my shopping at have empty shelves where the TP usually is, I find we really have to conserve. Kitty can play with other things
Cats do love TP, don’t they? I did my first senior shopping trip at Safeway this morning and the TP and paper towel shelves were still bare!
The mummy-look is coming back in vogue. Who needs expensive jewelry and clothes when you have a fortune in toilet paper.
I guess they are saving on their wardrobe expense!
So funny! I didn’t think of that! I thought that people were buying so much toilet paper because they will have to actually eat their own cooking for a change. ha ha
Ha ha. Thanks for the laugh.
Very funny blog! All my adult life I had been one to always have extra TP in my bathroom cupboard. I don’t know why. Maybe some repressed memory. My better half has even made fun of me for it but it didn’t stop me. I’m sure when things are back to normal and we can joke more about this, Laurel will have some things to say about TP in her next adventure. Stay well!
Good for you, Melissa. And I do believe there is a TP crisis in Laurel’s future!
I would love to win the TP, I only have a few rolls left, and no idea how to get more. I’m a widow in New Jersey whose heritage is a 1/4 Irish, I loved your St. Patrick’s Day festivities.
A belated happy St. Patrick’s day to you, Marianne and good luck! Please take care.
Rolling on the floor!!
I think our junk mail recycling bin might just do the trick. Shall I send you some?
Ha ha. I found my stepladder on the floor behind my suitcases. I used my grabber to knock down the only pack not holding up a large box of fragile items. The sheets are more like wisps but probably better than using the pages of my books!
Lol! I have 100s of magazines laying around I guess I could use of the TP runs out.
Always good to have backup! Good luck.
It really hasn’t affected me, except that I picked up a few extra groceries. I keep my pantry and freezer stocked, so I didn’t panic. I’m not a canned food user, so that was a challenge. I made 3 small trips to the grocery store, with the last one being a week ago Monday. I think Facebook blog posts helped me with ideas on shelf-stable foods to purchase. I’m most surprised that I’m eating less, not MORE. That was a concern: that my food would disappear quickly.
I lost one lb. because my chocolate stash had disappeared although I stocked up at senior shopping yesterday. I consider chocolate to be a necessary staple. Take care.
I had a bit of a scare Monday. I’m a librarian & though our library is closed, there’s plenty we can do. I was at the computer cataloging books, when I experienced some symptoms. No pain per se, more uncomfortableness, ending with a wave of cold sweat. After my denial, I told myself I probably should get checked out. Called my husband, he agreed, & picked me up & brought me to ER. On the way I was having doubts. This is probably not the best time to go to the ER! Anyway, got there, & ER door was locked! Had to talk to her thru intercom. Kind of hard for me to hear her, so when I heard something about difficulty breathing, I said ‘yes, during it, but not now.’ Wrong answer! Now they’re probably for sure going to lock me down for quite some time! She hurried to the door & put a mask on a table, then hurried back to her desk. She said she’d buzz me in, but ‘don’t go past the table! Put the mask on!’ While I did this, my husband was starting to come thru the door. She tells him to get back! No visitors! I told her he’s my husband, he’s with me! Nope, no visitors! I told her I don’t want to go in to the ER without him! She makes a quick call, same thing…NO! I look back & forth, then threw the mask on the table & walked out!
That actually felt good writing it out! Not reliving it, but anyway….we’ve been home out of work since then. Hubby wants to keep an eye on me! Called first couple days, bosses were fine. Now VT is ‘Stay safe, Stay home!’
Sorry for the long post! Oh, also, I agree about chocolate being a necessary staple! I melt some in my coffee every day! & if we run out of TP, I’ve got plenty of books around here!
Hi Colleen. What a scary situation. It’s really impossible to get tested around here, too, unless you’re practically on your death bed. I hope that was just temporary, or if not, that your symptoms remain mild. Sounds like you have an excellent supply of the required items – chocolate and books! Take care of yourself.
Obviously my hairdresser is closed. However she called and said she would put my hair colors together and leave instructions in a little bag on the porch of her business.
Tom picked up dye, squeeze bottle, gloves and instructions.
I’m thrilled she has done this for me but guess who is performing the job?
MY HUSBAND TOM. OMG! NO TELLING HOW IT WILL COME OUT. THE THINGS WE SACRIFICE FOR COVID-19. Signed covered in hair dye.😷
Uh oh. I say, go white! So much easier. Take care of yourself.
I want my mummy! If I were chosen, I would prefer to donate the toilet paper to someone who really needs it, since our local stores are starting to restock and I was able to purchase a pack. Thank you!
Lucky you! I hope ours will restock soon or I’ll be running out of my TP treasure!
My husband found some TP at Costco today and we did a happy dance. Unfortunately we can’t find yeast, and I used the last of mine before the crisis arrived. So soda bread it is.
Your post and the many comments have made my day.
Keep smiling and creating smiles in the rest of us.
Thanks, Kathy. I’ve really appreciated the humorous comments people have left. Take care!!
With so many comments I wouldn’t think one more was needed. But the TP is so here goes. I’m neither a poet nor a comedian – straight prose is all I can pen. We have a local breakfast restaurant, Old 41 Restaurant, that to help stay afloat set up a “necessities store.” From 9-3 each day the restaurant lobby becomes a store selling what he normally had delivered for the restaurant but is now being sold to the locals as he purchased – tp, gloves, sanitizer, paper towels, bread, eggs, face masks and an occasional other. They are all restaurant size and quality. I have only seen the sign and peeked in the window, but it’s my kind of place. I am writing an article for a local magazine on how local businesses are creatively hanging in there while closed – and this is at the top of my interview list. I interviewed him once before when he reopened after a car backed into the restaurant in the wrong gear (we are mostly senior citizens here). He offered me a Philly Cheesesteak while I was there. You can guess what I’m hoping for this time – but just in case – I hope my post is in the running for the tp prize.
Ha ha. You are never too late to post, D.K. What a kind restaurant owner. Good luck to you!
I just finished reading “Dying for a Double” and I am ready for another one. You are making my days in the house so much better. My son and husband both have heart and lung problems so we will be in the house until a vaccine is ready. I don’t need TP but I enjoyed reading about the people that wrote about it.
Hi Conneye. I’m so pleased you enjoyed DYING FOR A DOUBLE and the blog post. I am writing, but much slower these days although I have no excuse since I’m at home all the time now! Take care of yourself and your family.
I just finished reading “Dying for a Dance” which I received from a mystery book exchange last month with my girlfriend. I love your humorous writing which reminds me of Janet Evonavich’s style. I am a fifth-generation Californian who lives in the Sacramento region, so reading a mystery novel based in the Northern California foothills and Lake Tahoe was especially fun. I look forward to reading all the rest of your books!
Hi Kathy. I’m so pleased you enjoyed DYING FOR A DANCE. It’s been fun to write about our area and all of my favorite places. Happy holidays to you.