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The girls’ guide to golfers

Having grown up in corporate America, I was forced to put in my time on the golf course. After taking home a trophy for highest score, it was obvious I wasn’t slated to be a female Tiger Woods. No matter how adorable I looked in my pastel golf attire, it didn’t detract from the fact I couldn’t hit the ball more than fifty yards.


What I did take home was a valuable dating tool. Where else can you determine the character of a person in one afternoon? How someone plays golf is often reflective of how they live their life. For those single women out there, forget about romantic dinners or strolls on the beach. If you want to know a man’s true colors in less than five hours, head to the greens. Grab a club and a man and try them on for size.


His butt may look cute clad in khaki or even pink plaid, but do you want to spend your life with someone whose ability to add disappears once he hits the golf course? If he lies about the number of strokes he took, what else will he lie about?


What about his ability to cope with frustrating situations? If he wraps his Big Bertha around a tree when his ball lands in a sand trap, is he still your Mr. Right?


Does he willingly relinquish the golf cart to you? A man who is comfortable with a female driver has a lot of potential. A man who lets you drive four holes back to make a pit stop is definitely a keeper.


If you ask for suggestions to improve your game and he gives you eighteen different tips, this may not be the man you want to trim the Xmas tree with. On the other hand if his only comment is that your beauty distracted him, this fellow has potential.


How about his attitude? Is he a glass half full or half empty kind of guy? Does he grin remembering the great putt he made? Or gripe about the drive that landed in the woods.


That’s my tip sheet for the day. I would love to hear comments from gals and guys. Has a perfect ten guy ever dropped down to a two? And for you guys out there, what turns your dream gal into a dud?

9 Comments

  1. David on July 6, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    And I suppose the same principles would apply to the qualities of a lady's life as well?

    • Cindy on July 7, 2010 at 5:06 pm

      Absolutely David. Maybe my next blog should be the Guy's Guide to Girls. Would love your input.

  2. GregTheMisogynist on July 7, 2010 at 2:14 am

    This post is inane. It's quite obvious that women simply don't belong on the golf course.

  3. Matthias on July 6, 2010 at 9:58 pm

    Golf as a metaphor. I knew for sure it had a reason to exist. I wonder what would be said about a guy who just hates the game. Oh, I'll play because its pretty in the morning with the geese and deer and all, but the game? Pffffttttt…

  4. Diana on July 7, 2010 at 2:42 am

    My husband is not a great golfer but tested to be an excellent mate.

  5. Nanci on December 14, 2010 at 11:03 am

    This is very well-written and funny, Cindy. My husband (an avid golfer) has told me all these stories and we agree with you totally. I've never played golf because I think the club head is too small, the ball's too small, and the hole you have to putt the ball into is too small. Oh, and the club is too long. Robin Williams has a hilarious take on golf. Check it out on YouTube. Well done.

    • Cindy on December 16, 2010 at 4:02 pm

      Thanks for commenting, Nancy. I’m sure your husband and I could swap some entertaining stories.

  6. Nikki on December 26, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    My boyfriend is quite the golfer, not to mention a golf warrior! He was whacked in the head with a club but continued to play… concussion and all! Hm, what does that say about a guy? haha! Anyhow, I’d like to golf with him but I’ve never once played. (I’m a tennis girl). Any tips on that… like, is golf easy enough to where I wouldn’t completely embarrass myself, should I practice a little beforehand, do you think my guy would help me? These are probably silly questions but I’m just wondering. I would like to put your article to use–it’s very good! Thank you!

    • Cindy Sample on December 26, 2012 at 8:30 pm

      Hi Nikki. Best advice I can give is to take lessons from a pro. Having your boyfriend teach you to golf is like having him teach you to drive. Just remember. Make it fun!

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