Going topless

The skies are a cloudless cobalt blue, the sun is blasting overhead, and temps are over seventy. At long last, spring has arrived in Sacramento. What better way to celebrate than removing my top.

Since I was raised in the Midwest, not the Riviera, my version of topless is taking my classic roadster out for a spin. My convertible is a classic because it’s old. Kind of like her owner. She’s also a pain in the a..

No comments please. My Jag was purchased over the internet, sight unseen, from a used car dealer in Phoenix. It was purchased for one reason only. It’s powder blue and it matches my eyes.

Gosh. I am such a girl! My car even has a name. Sweet Caroline. She’s a classic beauty but definitely a high maintenance gal and I think she’s having an affair with my mechanic. I used to angst every time I drove sweet Caroline because inevitably something would ping, wheeze, or kah-thunk. I just hate when she kah-thunks.

But there is nothing like the incredible feeling of Caroline in full gear, hugging the curves of windy country roads, the wind whipping my hair in every direction, the sound of Pat Benatar blasting out of the speakers (am I dating myself, and do I care?) My friends in the Hot Flash set who also go topless, compare us to those middle-aged men who don their weekend leathers and hit the highway on their Harleys.

Caroline is also quite the “guy magnet.” And I’m not referring to my cadre of mechanics. Cute young men constantly follow me, honking as they drive by. Sure, most of the time it’s because my Victoria’s Secret catalogues blew out of the backseat and on to their windshield. But when Caroline and I take to the road we have ATTITUDE.


Did I mention she matches my eyes?

And if a bird occasionally drops a present on our shoulder we merely brush it off. Wouldn’t life be dull if we didn’t have to deal with a little s..t every now and then?


Zoom zoom.

9 Comments

  1. Matthias on May 30, 2010 at 11:13 pm

    Best description of Jag ownership I’ve run across. Jag’s will take a dump on you any time, but hey do they ever turn your head. Like my last girlfriend, actually.

  2. Susan on May 31, 2010 at 6:17 am

    Very fun. Can’t wait to read your book, Dying for a Date!

  3. kay on May 31, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    I’m right with ya, girl! We are “young at hearts”, and not old farts!!!! I got excited when these guys were “checking” me out a while back. I thought, “Hey, I still got it, even in a minivan!”” It made my day, until I rolled down my window and heard the horrific noise coming from my van! Oh well!!!!!!

  4. Emily on June 2, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    Very fun. Can’t wait to read your book, Dying for a Date!

  5. Julie on June 5, 2010 at 7:40 am

    Hee Hee. You are toooo funny. You tell the truth with such honesty and humor. Can’t
    wait to read your book!

  6. Amy on June 5, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    I’m right with ya, girl! We are “young at hearts”, and not old farts!!!! I got excited when these guys were “checking” me out a while back. I thought, “Hey, I still got it, even in a minivan!”” It made my day, until I rolled down my window and heard the horrific noise coming from my van! Oh well!!!!!!

  7. Teresa on June 15, 2010 at 4:35 am

    Love how you chose the Jag by color … sounds like my husband. He chucked all the Consumer Report info I gave him and bought the only yellow truck he found! It’s a magnet, too, though for a different bunch of people than your Jag, I’d imagine. Looking forward to reading your book when it comes out in print (next week!!!)

  8. Cindy Sample on June 15, 2010 at 10:50 am

    Thanks Teresa. So boys buy cars by color too. Very interesting. Looking forward to reading your book next year. Congratulations.

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