Having dropped my cell phone so many times the top and bottom halves were connected by a thread, I decided it was time to venture to the ATT store for whatever free phone they were offering. Whether it was my clueless expression or my fashionable accessorizing, the slick-haired, slick-tongued extremely young salesman (who looked more like a sales boy) pounced and immediately steered me to the iPhone section.
Shaking my head, I say, “I’m a soon to be published mystery author. All I need is a basic phone. No bells and whistles.”
“But don’t you want to read email on the go?” he replies. “I can tell you’re going to be a highly successful author. You need to keep up with your fan mail.”
I nod modestly. It would be kind of nice to check emails when I’m out and about.
He points to a square that resembles a map. “This button is your GPS. You won’t have to worry about going to a book signing and getting lost.”
I chuckle. It would be good if I didn’t get lost on the way to my book signings, wouldn’t it?
He taps a button with a picture of a microphone. “See this tiny recorder? When you’re driving to your important engagements in your new career as a world famous author, you can record stuff on the road.”
My eyes light up. Way cool. No more flashes of inspiration that disappear by the time I locate a pen and paper.
He touches a button at the bottom labeled iPod. “You can download iTunes to your phone. And since you’re old, you can turn up the speaker really really loud.” Okay, he didn’t exactly say that but it would come in handy if I wanted to practice ballroom dancing in between all of my many book signings. My head starts bobbing in anticipation of my “on the road” cha cha sessions.
As I alternate between salivating over the phone and calculating if I can afford $199 for the invention of the decade, he throws in the piece de resistance. My IPSB (iPhone sales boy) spreads his fingers across the small screen and what was previously teeny weeny font has turned into gigantic letters. No reading glasses required.
He had me at the 20 point font. Who knew that someday I’d be more excited about the size of my font than the size of…