You Don’t Know Jersey

January 22nd, 2013

Written by Guest Blogger Lois Winston


Author Lois WinstonIt’s my pleasure to introduce my Guest blogger today, award-winning romance and mystery author, Lois Winston.

If you’ve watched Jersey Shore or read about New Jersey in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series, you may think you know all about it.

But according to Lois:



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I live in a state that everyone seems to have a negative opinion about, especially those who have never set foot here. Welcome to New Jersey. Even though our motto is The Garden State, we’re more often, referred to as The Armpit of the Nation.

That stereotype and others are often reinforced by movies and TV shows such as The Sopranos, Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and Jerseylicous, not to mention a current loudmouth governor prone to bullying. Politics aside, I’m here to tell you that at least 95% of us are not like the people you see on your TV.

I think New Jersey is a pretty cool place to live. In less than an hour I can be in the mountains, down the shore, or in Manhattan, depending upon my mood. We have culture, sports, and cow pastures. Horse farms and high-rises. We’re home to the famous and the infamous.

We even legally own the Statue of Liberty, but try telling that to New York. However, since they usurped our national landmark, we took their beloved football teams. That’s right, folks, for those of you who live in other parts of the country, both the New York Giants and the New York Jets play in New Jersey.

Anyway, I like New Jersey so much that I set my latest series here. In a REAL New Jersey town. When I read a book, I love to connect with the locations. What I hate is when an author sets a book somewhere she’s never been and relies heavily on Google for her research. There are too many things about a place that Google won’t tell you because you didn’t know to ask. Like the fact that trucks aren’t allowed on most of the Garden State Parkway. Or that we go “down the shore” not “to the beach.” Nothing pulls a reader out of a story more than when an author doesn’t get her facts rights.

So for me, setting my stories in places I know is a no-brainer. Not only is it easier than making up a place or setting a book somewhere I’ve never been, it’s also a way of letting people know that there’s more to New Jersey than they’ve been led to believe.

Setting a book in New Jersey also gives me the opportunity to place my protagonist in diverse locations while still keeping her in or near her hometown. Many cozy mysteries take place in or around a small town in the Midwest, down South, or in New England. If the author wants to place her protagonist in a different environment, it involves the protagonist taking a trip. With a series set in New Jersey, I can have Anastasia shopping at Ikea in the morning, antiquing in Lambertville in the afternoon and at a casino in Atlantic City in the evening. At least, I could if she ever has two nickels to rub together again.

One caveat, though: As much as I love my state, I’ve been accused of having a biting sense of humor. So if you happen to read any of my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries (and I hope you will!), you’ll often find my tongue planted firmly in my cheek as I describe my state.


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Award-winning author Lois Winston writes the critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series featuring magazine crafts editor and reluctant amateur sleuth Anastasia Pollack. Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun, the first book in the series, received starred reviews from both Publishers Weekly and Booklist. Kirkus Reviews dubbed it, “North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum.” The series also includes Death By Killer Mop Doll and Crewel Intentions, an Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mini-Mystery. Revenge of the Crafty Corpse is a January 2013 release.

Lois is also published in women’s fiction, romance, romantic suspense, and non-fiction under her own name and her Emma Carlyle pen name. In addition, she’s an award-winning crafts and needlework designer and an agent with the Ashley Grayson Literary Agency. She’s also the author of the recently released Top Ten Reasons Your Novel is Rejected. Visit Lois at http://www.loiswinston.com, visit Emma at http://www.emmacarlyle.com, and visit Anastasia at the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers character blog, www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com.


Revenge of the Crafty Corpse by Lois WinstonRevenge of the Crafty Corpse:
Anastasia Pollack’s dead louse of a spouse has left her with more bills than you can shake a crochet hook at, and teaching craft classes at her mother-in-law’s assisted living center seems like a harmless way to supplement her meager income. But when Lyndella Wegner—a 98-year-old know-it-all with a penchant for ruffles and lace—turns up dead, Anastasia’s cantankerous mother-in-law becomes the prime suspect in her murder. Upon discovering that Lyndella’s scandalous craft projects—and her scandalous behavior—made her plenty of enemies, Anastasia sets out to find the real killer before her mother-in-law ends up behind bars.

Buy Link: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0738725862/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0738725862&linkCode=as2&tag=loiswins-20





Death By Spanx

January 1st, 2013



Congratulations to contest winner Karen Lange.


For those readers who consumed the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, please note this blog post is not about a physical relationship which incorporates any form of bondage or discipline.

Or is it?

I recently had an encounter that left me tormented and imprisoned. I’ve never felt such anguish before and hopefully will not suffer any permanent scars from this experience.

I’m talking about my visit to a local department store in search of a dress for a holiday party. The life of an author is fraught with peril.  You are forced to remain sedentary for hours on end, hoping to achieve your desired word count by the end of the day. Unfortunately on most days, my carb count exceeds my word count.

At the store, I found dresses galore in every shape and color. Unfortunately none of them came in my shape. That’s when the saleswoman leaned in and whispered, “Why don’t you try Spanx?”

At first I thought she said Spankys, and I couldn’t figure out how eating pizza would help my current situation. Then I realized she was referring to the line of firmware that had made the female founder a bazillionaire.

When I hesitated, she confided that Katy Perry wore Spanx and was proud of it. If the singer of “Teenage Dream” could wear firmware, so could a card-carrying member of the AARP! I told her to bring on the Spanx.

Seconds later she produced a beige garment about the size of a toddler’s mitten.  My expression must have appeared doubtful because she smiled and reassured me it would do the trick. My curves would miraculously realign.

I’m not the most scientific of souls, but I did ponder where exactly those curves would realign themselves.  Hopefully at top mast!

After shimmying left and right, up and down, and sweating more profusely than a hot flash moment, I was firmly encased in an item that must have been designed by someone who also built torture chambers on the side.

I decided I would rather pull my upper lip over my forehead than wear this item for another second.

That’s when I discovered that the torture of getting into the Spanx item was nothing compared to getting out of it. After a ten-minute struggle, I was ready to have the store call for the Jaws of Life. With a final tug, I sent the miniature girdle down to my knees.

At last I was free. Unfortunately, I could not straighten up and celebrate because I’d pulled every single muscle in my back.

The bad news was I didn’t end up purchasing a new dress. The good news was that I no longer needed one, since it’s quite difficult to foxtrot when you’re bent over at a ninety-degree angle.

Anyone else suffer a “fashionable” moment? I’d love to hear your tale.

CONTEST ALERT!
Leave a comment by midnight January 6th, and you’ll be entered into a drawing for a $25 gift card of your choice. Here’s to a safe and Spanx-free New Year.



Trick or Treating Is Not for Sissies

October 30th, 2012



Congratulations to contest winner Cathy Ann Adkins.


Written by Guest Blogger Heather Haven



Cindy Sample - Clowning Around!

I love Halloween.

1. You get to dress up in crazy costumes, even when you’re giving speeches at the office! Anyone notice a similarity to the clown costume Laurel wore in DYING FOR A DATE? What detective wouldn’t want to smooch with a gal who looked like that?

2. And then there’s all that candy. Really, does it get any better than that? But not everyone feels that way. My guest, Heather Haven, a master at combining homicide and humor, shares her own childhood horror story. Heather is the author of the award-winning Alvarez Family Murder Mysteries. Murder is a Family Business, the first in the Alvarez series, won the 2011 Single Titles Reviewers’ Choice Award. A Wedding to Die For, the second in the series, was a 2012 finalist for EPIC’s Best eBook Mystery of the Year. Heather recently released Death Runs in the Family to rave reviews.



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I have a thing about witches.

 

Author Heather Haven

Clowns don’t scare me, witches do. I remember seeing the Wizard of Oz on TV as a kid and absolutely freaking out. The Wicked Witch of the West – or is it the East? – was one nasty broad wielding a mean broom. And she had green skin! All over. Nightmares for days.

A short time later, Halloween found me sitting at the kitchen table cramming a giant Tootsie Roll in my mouth. I had made quite a haul, thank you, and while scarfing down my booty, happened to glance out the window. There was the hideous and repulsive face of a witch gaping at me through the windowpane! Bushy eyebrows, bulbous nose, beady little eyes, hairy warts everywhere. Green, green, green.

Have I mentioned how I freaked at seeing Margaret Hamilton in the Wizard of Oz? Nothing like the freak out when my nine-year old eyes clapped onto the horror staring back at me.

After swallowing the chocolate bar whole, my shrieks caused my dripping wet mother, covered only in soap and a towel, to come running from the upstairs bathroom. Our next door neighbor dropped her clothes basket in her backyard after hearing the screeches of her own terrified nine-year old daughter scurrying to hide under the bed. Dressed as a witch, my pal had been peering in my window to show me her costume. The episode ended with me throwing up on my entire stash of candy.

I have a thing about witches!


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Contest Alert!


Heather and I would love to hear your scary and/or funny Halloween stories. Leave a comment by midnight on November 2, and you’ll be entered into a drawing to win a box of Sees fine chocolates!


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Persephone Cole and the Halloween Curse by Heather HavenHeather’s most recent endeavor is a 1940s holiday vintage mystery series starring a five-foot eleven, full-figured gal named Persephone Cole. ‘Percy’ Cole has the same hard-boiled, take-no-prisoners attitude as Sam Spade, Lew Archer, and Phillip Marlow, but tops it off with a wicked sense of humor. The first of the series, Persephone Cole and the Halloween Curse, takes place on New York City’s Broadway stage during World War II.


CLICK THE BOOK COVER TO PURCHASE AT AMAZON!

You can email Heather@HeatherHavenStories.com.

Check out her website http://www.heatherhavenstories.com/ or her blog at http://tinyurl.com/4nensnp http://www.facebook.com