Written by Guest Blogger Lois Winston



Today I welcome guest blogger, Lois Winston, author of the critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries published by Midnight Ink. Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun, the first book in the series, received starred reviews from Publishers Weekly and Booklist. Death By Killer Mop Doll, the sequel, was released earlier this month. Anastasia is one of the most hilarious protagonists I’ve ever met. Join Lois for a discussion of a very hot topic.


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Let’s talk sex. (That got your attention, didn’t it?) I began my writing career in the romance genre. For romance writers, unless you’re writing for one of the inspirational imprints or “sweet” romance lines, it’s pretty much expected that your book will contain a sex scene or two. Or three. Or four. Or five. Sex sells.

However, now I’m writing a mystery series. A humorous mystery series. You won’t find any hot and heavy heaving bosoms in my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries. I’ve come to learn that mystery readers don’t generally care for sex in their reads. They’re interested in solving the mystery. They don’t mind a relationship between the protagonist and whomever, just as long as it doesn’t get in the way of the whodunit.

Fair ‘nuff.

However, lately I’m seeing a trend toward steamier mysteries. The windows are definitely fogging up in some series. In one, the protagonist has actually begun doing the dirty with not one, but two guys on a fairly consistent basis.

Imagine having to decide between Hunk #1 and Hunk #2! It would certainly take Anastasia’s mind off her financial woes. And her pain-in–posterior mother-in-law. But Anastasia is a bit too old school to bed two guys. Heck, she’s fighting off the urge to bed just one. Will she or won’t she?

In Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun, Anastasia is recently widowed. So no matter how she begins to feel about tenant Zack Barnes and no matter how she now feels about her dead louse of a spouse, given that he gambled away their life savings and left her up the wazoo in debt before dropping dead at a casino in Las Vegas, propriety wins out over hormones.

Death By Killer Mop Doll, the second book in the series, opens three months later, and there’s a definite tug of war developing between propriety and those hormones.

Sexual tension drives romance novels. Once the hero and heroine have their happily-ever-after, though, they wander off hand-in-hand into the sunset. If there’s a sequel, it usually involves secondary characters who become the primary characters in the next book.

In an ongoing mystery series, the protagonist remains the protagonist throughout the series. Consummating a relationship often sinks a series. Although sexual tension doesn’t drive mysteries the way it does romances, it still plays a part in driving the characters’ internal goals, motivations, and conflicts. However, dragging the will-they/won’t they out too long can also spell disaster. Readers get bored with the same old/same old. Relationships need to grow in much the same way characters need to grow. If they don’t, each book becomes a clone of the one before, and no author wants that to happen.

Our characters’ relationships become a balancing act for us, one where we have to determine what’s too much and what’s not enough. Get it wrong, and readers will be quick to let us know.


So how do you feel about sex in mysteries? Post a comment, and you could win one of 5 signed copies of Death By Killer Mop Doll I’m giving away as part of my blog tour this month.


The full tour schedule can be found at my website, http://www.loiswinston.com, and the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog, http://www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. You can read an excerpt at http://www.loiswinston.com/excerptap2.html. You can visit me at my website: http://www.loiswinston.com and Anastasia at the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog: http://www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. You can also follow me and Anastasia on Twitter @anasleuth



Written by Guest Blogger Barb Beacham



Today I welcome first time guest blogger, Barb Beacham. Barb lives in the Sierra Foothills and works as an accountant for an El Dorado winery. She writes when she is not working, tooling around her garden, or whipping up something wonderful in the kitchen!


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Do you find yourself inundated with catalogs wanting to sell you stuff they think is a “must have” for Christmas? Even though I have yet to order anything, year after year, I find my mailbox stuffed with a multitude of catalogs which represent a complete waste of paper, postage, and printing costs. Here are some of the pickings that really resonated with me. Be prepared. These may end up in YOUR Christmas stocking.


The winners of this year’s list of what I don’t want, and what I don’t want to give are:

• The sign with a little girl’s photo, in black and white with a red rose that reads “my face hurts, from pretending to like you.” Enough said. Price…$69 plus tax and shipping.




• For women only: How about a case to carry tampons in? With a photo of a good looking guy on it that reads, “If there is a God, please let this guy be my ob/gyn.” At $23, this could be the deal of the decade. For the manufacturer.




• How about a sign that reads, “Well, today was a total waste of makeup!” I know my girlfriends are dying for me to give this to them. I can buy this item for the low cost of $13 plus $6 in shipping. Note that this does not include sales tax and the cost of losing a good friend.




• What do you think when someone gives you bath soap or scented oils for the holidays? Do you think I smell bad? For a measly $28 plus tax and shipping, you can give someone a 3 bar pack of lavender soap that will soothe and soften the wrinkles of the skin. For a mere $30 the soap can be personalized. Which means it will last a lifetime, because who wants to watch their name go down the drain?




• The Christmas Pickle. This was a tradition in Germany where parents would hide a pickle in the Christmas tree. You too can follow this lovely custom at a mere $9.00. Plus shipping and tax. Hmmm…that must be one heck of a pickle!




• The Knife Handler. Who wouldn’t want a 15″ figure of a person that you can “stab” out your aggressions when replacing the knives in the body of the figure! This comes with a variety of sharp instruments and is yours for only $99 plus shipping. It does not include attorney’s fees and court costs but it might be the perfect gift for the mystery author in your life.

I would love to see what other “cool” items I might have missed. Or you might have received! Leave a comment by midnight, December 19th, and you will be entered in the drawing to win a $10 Amazon gift card.

 


Congratulations to contest winner Alyx Morgan.

I used to say my epitaph would read “she never cooked a turkey although she dated a few.” The turkeys I wrestled with were never frozen, although they were definitely fresh.
 
Despite the fact that I was a mature woman in her mid-fifties, I was still a turkey virgin. Both of my ex-husbands, my mother, assorted relatives and friends had cooked many a turkey for my consumption.
 
But not me. Fortunately, I make an awesome prime rib, so when Thanksgiving rolled around my kids and I were the only beefeaters on the block. Formerly happy California cows provided our happy holiday meal.
 
But a couple of years ago, my turkey eschewing daughter informed me she wanted a big bird in the oven for a change. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I knew I could sway her back to my peppercorn prime rib. Then my son chimed in with the same request and I was doomed.
 
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I wandered into the Safeway and asked to speak to a butcher. I informed the burly fellow that I had never cooked a turkey, and I needed help purchasing one.
 
“YOU’VE never cooked a turkey?” he asked, staring doubtfully at my woeful and slightly wrinkled countenance.
“No,” I replied testily. “My husbands always cooked the turkey. I don’t need a husband. I just need a turkey!”
 
He rolled his eyes and pointed to the freezer compartment which at 6:01 p.m. contained exactly three turkeys. I had my bird. But despite the assurances of the butcher that my petite 9 lb. turkey would thaw out by morning, at 4:30 on Thanksgiving day, that sucker was still frozen solid. What’s a mother to do?
 
I shoved it in the oven and prayed.
 
At 8:30, I pulled out the golden brown turkey and handed it over to my knife-wielding son. He took one look at the pinkish meat and prepared for a bout of food poisoning.
 
Which did not occur. What did occur was the juiciest turkey dinner ever, surrounded by lots of love and laughter, especially when my out-of-control mixer sprayed whipped sweet potatoes across my kitchen cabinets. Who knew vegetables could add luster to old wood?
 
And that our turkey adventure would add luster to a favorite holiday!
 
Leave a comment about one of your holiday mishaps or adventures by midnight November 30th, and you’ll be entered in a drawing for a $25 gift card to…whatever you choose. It’s your gift!
 

Congratulations to contest winner Vicki Hencey.

Written by Guest Blogger Ann Parker

Congratulations to contest winner Jacqueline Seewald.

Today, I welcome Ann Parker, the author of one of my favorite series. Ann is a California-based science/corporate writer by day and an historical mystery writer by night. The latest installment in her award-winning Silver Rush series, Mercury’s Rise, will be released November 1.

If you thought on-line dating was difficult, find out what single women had to put up with a mere 150 years ago.

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Ladies and Gentlemen: A Pause, If You Please, in Your Texting

Nowadays, so much in the dating and courtship arena seems to take place in the electronic world. Dating websites, cell phones, texting, IMing, Facebooking – but go back to 1880, and it’s a different world as far as etiquette and dating.

A VERY different world.

My Silver Rush historical mysteries are set in the 1880s silver mining boomtown of Leadville, Colorado. And even in there, a time and place of great social flux (today’s down-and-out miner could be tomorrow’s millionaire), there were rules to govern the interactions of the sexes in polite society.

Whenever I need to determine what the etiquette of the day allowed, I turn to my bookcase and a lovely leather-bound volume titled Our Deportment or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society (by John H. Young, A.M., copyright 1880) for advice.

J.H.Y. never lets me down.

For instance, he has this to say about the introduction of a gentleman to a lady:

A gentleman should not be introduced to a lady, unless her permission has been previously obtained … When a gentleman is introduced to a lady, both bow slightly, and the gentleman opens conversation.

And, for those who are wondering, the proper form of introduction is to present the gentleman to the lady first. As the introducer, one bows first to the lady and says,

Miss C., allow me to introduce to you Mr. D. Mr. D., Miss C.

Mr. D. then should bow and say,

It gives me great pleasure to form your acquaintance, Miss C.

or some such.

A future caution notes,

An unmarried lady should not shake hands with gentlemen indiscriminately.

Indeed.

As for introductions at a ball (and yes, there were balls, soirees, receptions, five-o’clock teas, and all the rest in Leadville), there were also very strict rules:

Gentlemen who are introduced to ladies at a ball, solely for the purpose of dancing, wait to be recognized before speaking with ladies upon meeting afterwards, but they are at liberty to recall themselves by lifting their hats in passing.

Also,

a gentleman cannot, after being introduced to a young lady, ask her for more than two dances during the same evening.

Obviously, this is no mosh pit we’re talking about.

On forming street acquaintances, the author is even more emphatic:

A lady never forms an acquaintance upon the street, or seeks to attract the attention or admiration of person of the other sex. To do so would render false her claims to ladyhood, if it did not make her liable to far graver charges.

I think J.H.Y. would have heart failure if he had the opportunity to hang out at the local mall on weekends and observe today’s courting rituals… If nothing else, though, it makes for entertaining people-watching!

As for “popping the question,” the overeager gentleman of yore was warned that

It is very injudicious, not to say presumptuous, for a gentleman to make a proposal to a young lady on too brief an acquaintance. A lady who would accept a gentleman at first sight can hardly possess the discretion needed to make a good wife.

Hmmm. No wonder my protagonist, Inez Stannert, has had some difficulties in the matrimonial side of her life. Mark Stannert walked into her life and two weeks later, they eloped. So much for discretion on the part of my sleuth!

Other advice regarding courtship and proposals in the U.S. versus the Continent and elsewhere:

It is impossible to lay down any rule as to the proper mode of courtship and proposal. In France it is the business of the parents to settle all preliminaries. In England the young man asks the consent of the parents to pay address to their daughter. In this country the matter is left almost entirely to the young people.

Ah yes, three cheers for those independent Americans!

Finally, a word of warning to parents, regarding undesirable suitors:

Parents, especially mothers, should also watch with a jealous care the tendencies of their daughters affections…. The objectionable traits of the undesirable suitor should be made apparent to [the daughter] without the act seeming to be intentional; and if all this fails, let change of scene and surroundings by travel or visiting accomplish the desired result. The latter course will generally do it, if matters have not been allowed to progress too far and the young girl is not informed why she is temporarily banished from home.

So, there you go, ladies and gentlemen. Life in the past lane, regarding dating and courting. You may now return to your iPhones and Droids, your Skyping and Tweeting. Just keep in mind the following timeless advice from over a century ago:

Never hesitate in acts of politeness for fear they will not be recognized or returned. One cannot be too polite so long as he conforms to rules, while it is easy to lack politeness by neglect of them.

Leave a comment on this post by midnight October 3 and you will be eligible to win one of Ann’s Silver Rush mysteries! Winner may choose from Silver Lies (first in the series), Iron Ties (second in the series) or Leaden Skies (third in the series).

Learn more about Ann and her series at http://www.annparker.net.

 

Written by Guest Blogger Camille Minichino

Congratulations to contest winners Pauline Baird Jones and Brenda.

Today I welcome my first guest blogger, Camille Minichino. Camille is a retired physicist and the author of three series.  As Camille Minichino, she’s published eight novels in the periodic table mysteries. Her AKAs are Margaret Grace (The Miniature Mysteries) and Ada Madison (The Professor Sophie Knowles Mysteries).  Check out her Web Site to read the first chapter of The Square Root of Murder, her newest release.

Not only is Camille one of the most prolific authors I know, she’s also the funniest physicist I’ve ever met.  Okay, she’s the only physicist I’ve ever met, but she is a hoot! Check out her post on S*X and find out for yourself.

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Mine is not the generation of free-flowing dialogue about S*X. My mother’s idea of S*X education was to warn me: “Stay away from boys!”

Though profanity in two languages was part of my vocabulary from my early years, I never heard the word “S*X,” or any associated with it, like “PREG****” spoken aloud in my home or neighborhood.

I remember a lot of winks, especially at wedding receptions, waiting for the bride and groom to arrive from church. The old ladies would say, “I’ll bet they’re around the corner (wink).” The response: “I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already (wink).”

For a good part of my life, I associated this prudish reluctance to use the S word with the climate of the nineteen forties and fifties and my immigrant, Catholic neighborhood.

But much later, in the late nineteen nineties, I found the same attitude in a WASPy young woman who was my editor at the time. I remember meeting the blond Ms. JK in her Sixth Avenue, New York City building. She swept into her office, all bright and energetic, wearing the professional version of a little black dress.

Here we are, talking about my fourth book.

“You know, about Gloria and Matt,” she begins.

I nod. My protagonist in the Periodic Table Mysteries, Gloria Lamerino, meets homicide detective Matt Gennaro while doing her amateur sleuth thing, helping the cops in science-related cases.

“They’re attracted to each other, right?” JK adds, hooking a chunk of hair over her ear.

I nod again. In the first book, Gloria gets “twinges” when Matt’s around; in the second book, they hug briefly; in the third book, they neck. Really, only their necks.

(Hey, I wasn’t writing romance. And my very first book was a nonfiction treatise on nuclear waste management, so not a lot of opportunity for S*Xual exploration there.)

“They’re adults, right?” JK says.

 

“Right,” I say.

 

“And they’re free. I mean, no commitments, right?”

 

“Right.”

 

“Then don’t you think . . . ?” she asks.

 

I gulp. “You want me to . . .?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I should . . .?”

 

“Move them forward,” she says.

 

“So they should . . .?” I ask.

 

“Yes, definitely, they should.”

 

“Okay,” I say.

And thus in book four, Gloria and Matt move forward to S*X. Behind closed doors, of course.

It’s now 10 books later, and in my latest, The Square Root of Murder, there’s more moving forward, and now and then the word sex is spelled out.

(OMG, did I really just write that word?)

I need lessons from my gracious host, Cindy Sample, who does better with the S word in her debut than I’ve done in 14 books.

Now that you’ve been duly warned about the PG-13 nature of my first books, if you still want a copy of my latest release, make a comment here, and I’ll draw a name on Friday, July 22.