Congratulations to contest winner Liz Jasper.



Has anyone on her death bed ever said: “I wish I’d replied to that last email?”
 
When my teen idol–Davy Jones–died of a heart attack last week, I reflected on the fact that only thirty-six hours earlier, I was lying on an examining table waiting to have my own ticker checked.
 
I would attach a photo as proof, but the world has barely recovered from JLo’s nipplegate incident at the Oscars! We don’t need a baby boomer version.
 
My original appointment was for my annual physical with my gynecologist. Since I’m the queen of multi-tasking, I took advantage of this medical opportunity and mentioned the chest pains I’d been experiencing for the past month. He looked at me appalled then stated: “But I’m only interested in what’s below your waist.”
 
It’s been a long time since someone’s uttered that phrase to me.
 
Fortunately he hopped on the phone and shortly thereafter I was on my way to see another doctor who would minister to my “above the waist” issues. Minutes later I was stretched out on an examining table, grateful that the satellite reception was strong enough so I could continue returning emails while the nurse strapped electrodes to my bare chest.
 
As my thumbs worked furiously in unison in an effort to squeeze out that last “oh so important” reply before they ran the EKG, it occurred to me that perhaps the reason behind my chest pains was the mobile instrument that had become an additional appendage to my body.
 
As an author, it’s important to utilize social media to push our books and our personal brand. We Facebook, Tweet, Google+, and Tumble because we’re told that’s what we must do to sell books. If you add the stress of co-chairing a huge mystery convention in Sacramento like Left Coast Crime (heaven forbid I miss an opportunity to plug this conference) the stress levels can become so high I’m forced to medicate…
 
With chocolate!
 
Evidently I’m not the only patient who’s been experiencing Social Media Stress Syndrome. It’s a highly contagious disease. Fortunately it’s curable by a minimally invasive process. With luck, my phone won’t have to be surgically detached from my tapping fingers.
 
Of course, the physical therapy that follows can be tricky. No social media for at least 24 hours? If I can’t tweet, how can my tiny twibe of tweeps survive? Can my Facebook friends and fans face a day without my smiling face and clever posts? Will my gaggle of Google plus connections glower over my absence? (Probably not, since I currently have a gaggle of one.)
 
What a surprise! The world can go on. And since I definitely plan on hanging around for a few more decades, a little less self-inflicted stress will be the best prescription for a heart healthy life.
 
Besides, even God rested on the 7th day!
 
I’d love to learn how you maintain your sanity in the new age of social media.
 
Leave a comment by March 13th, and you’ll be entered in a drawing to win a $15 iTunes gift card guaranteed to provide the soothing backdrop to a stress less day.

Written by Guest Blogger Margaret Andrews

Congratulations to contest winner Murr Brewester.



I would like to welcome Margaret Andrews, author of the award-winning humor blog Nanny Goats in Panties which has to be the funniest blog I’ve ever read. Margaret is going to share some great blogging tips today.


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Hi Kids!

I would like to thank the lovely and talented Cindy for giving me this opportunity to flap my gums with you all about how to write an engaging blog post.

The single most important thing you must do to attract brand new readers to your blog is to make them read the second sentence. They’ll read the first one. But will they read the third and then the fourth and then the fifth? Your regular readers will tell you your blog is great, but if it’s the first time visitor you want to impress, you’ll need a good hook.


Here are three tips to hook your readers from the beginning:

1. Start With a Question
Questions beget answers, also known as comments. Start with a question that provokes your reader to answer. It will draw them right in to your subject. Try to be specific. If you say “Don’t you hate stupid people?” that doesn’t really put a picture into a reader’s head and therefore doesn’t really grab him or her.

On the other hand, “Have you ever been bitten by an Australian vampire?” will have a better chance of arousing one’s interest, especially if one has indeed been bitten by a vampire from the southern hemisphere.

2. Be Concise
Don’t be too wordy, especially at the beginning. Extra words slow down the piece and ask for extra patience from your reader. If you omit extraneous and unnecessary and additional and superfluous words, the piece will clip along at a quick pace. Your reader will hang on for dear life and stick around because now it’s a fun ride and a fast read.

3. Appeal to the Senses
Appealing to the any or all of the five senses (see, hear, touch, smell, taste) firmly entrenches your idea into the reader’s mind. Authors already know that this is crucial to an engaging story and the same goes for a blog post.

Look at the very first sentence or two of your blog post. Does it contain sensory appeal by being very specific? Or does it contain summarizing group-like terms? Try to get to one specific detail as soon as you can. The sooner you can tell us about a specific woman’s long tan legs while waiting in line to get her book signed, or about that hot dog you had for lunch that was so spicy it bit your tongue and screamed all the way down, or how you crunched through the gravel of the parking lot as your biggest fan accosted you, the sooner you capture your reader’s undivided attention. Let your blog post leap off the page. Er, screen.

Keep It Going!

And that’s just the beginning of your blog post. You want to keep your readers engaged throughout it by providing details that stick with them well after they’ve gone. Make it stick past the click! Hey, that sounds like my next mantra. I’d better write that down before I forget it!

Now I’d like to know the best blog tip you’ve ever received. Leave a comment by midnight February 28 and you can win a $10 Amazon gift card.


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Margaret Andrews is the author of the award-winning humor blog Nanny Goats in Panties and of the book Sticky Readers: How to Attract a Loyal Blog Audience by Writing More Better, available in paperback and ebook.


Margaret’s Blog: Nanny Goats in Panties
Margaret’s Book: Sticky Readers



Written by Guest Blogger Lois Winston



Today I welcome guest blogger, Lois Winston, author of the critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries published by Midnight Ink. Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun, the first book in the series, received starred reviews from Publishers Weekly and Booklist. Death By Killer Mop Doll, the sequel, was released earlier this month. Anastasia is one of the most hilarious protagonists I’ve ever met. Join Lois for a discussion of a very hot topic.


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Let’s talk sex. (That got your attention, didn’t it?) I began my writing career in the romance genre. For romance writers, unless you’re writing for one of the inspirational imprints or “sweet” romance lines, it’s pretty much expected that your book will contain a sex scene or two. Or three. Or four. Or five. Sex sells.

However, now I’m writing a mystery series. A humorous mystery series. You won’t find any hot and heavy heaving bosoms in my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries. I’ve come to learn that mystery readers don’t generally care for sex in their reads. They’re interested in solving the mystery. They don’t mind a relationship between the protagonist and whomever, just as long as it doesn’t get in the way of the whodunit.

Fair ‘nuff.

However, lately I’m seeing a trend toward steamier mysteries. The windows are definitely fogging up in some series. In one, the protagonist has actually begun doing the dirty with not one, but two guys on a fairly consistent basis.

Imagine having to decide between Hunk #1 and Hunk #2! It would certainly take Anastasia’s mind off her financial woes. And her pain-in–posterior mother-in-law. But Anastasia is a bit too old school to bed two guys. Heck, she’s fighting off the urge to bed just one. Will she or won’t she?

In Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun, Anastasia is recently widowed. So no matter how she begins to feel about tenant Zack Barnes and no matter how she now feels about her dead louse of a spouse, given that he gambled away their life savings and left her up the wazoo in debt before dropping dead at a casino in Las Vegas, propriety wins out over hormones.

Death By Killer Mop Doll, the second book in the series, opens three months later, and there’s a definite tug of war developing between propriety and those hormones.

Sexual tension drives romance novels. Once the hero and heroine have their happily-ever-after, though, they wander off hand-in-hand into the sunset. If there’s a sequel, it usually involves secondary characters who become the primary characters in the next book.

In an ongoing mystery series, the protagonist remains the protagonist throughout the series. Consummating a relationship often sinks a series. Although sexual tension doesn’t drive mysteries the way it does romances, it still plays a part in driving the characters’ internal goals, motivations, and conflicts. However, dragging the will-they/won’t they out too long can also spell disaster. Readers get bored with the same old/same old. Relationships need to grow in much the same way characters need to grow. If they don’t, each book becomes a clone of the one before, and no author wants that to happen.

Our characters’ relationships become a balancing act for us, one where we have to determine what’s too much and what’s not enough. Get it wrong, and readers will be quick to let us know.


So how do you feel about sex in mysteries? Post a comment, and you could win one of 5 signed copies of Death By Killer Mop Doll I’m giving away as part of my blog tour this month.


The full tour schedule can be found at my website, http://www.loiswinston.com, and the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog, http://www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. You can read an excerpt at http://www.loiswinston.com/excerptap2.html. You can visit me at my website: http://www.loiswinston.com and Anastasia at the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog: http://www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. You can also follow me and Anastasia on Twitter @anasleuth



Written by Guest Blogger Barb Beacham



Today I welcome first time guest blogger, Barb Beacham. Barb lives in the Sierra Foothills and works as an accountant for an El Dorado winery. She writes when she is not working, tooling around her garden, or whipping up something wonderful in the kitchen!


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Do you find yourself inundated with catalogs wanting to sell you stuff they think is a “must have” for Christmas? Even though I have yet to order anything, year after year, I find my mailbox stuffed with a multitude of catalogs which represent a complete waste of paper, postage, and printing costs. Here are some of the pickings that really resonated with me. Be prepared. These may end up in YOUR Christmas stocking.


The winners of this year’s list of what I don’t want, and what I don’t want to give are:

• The sign with a little girl’s photo, in black and white with a red rose that reads “my face hurts, from pretending to like you.” Enough said. Price…$69 plus tax and shipping.




• For women only: How about a case to carry tampons in? With a photo of a good looking guy on it that reads, “If there is a God, please let this guy be my ob/gyn.” At $23, this could be the deal of the decade. For the manufacturer.




• How about a sign that reads, “Well, today was a total waste of makeup!” I know my girlfriends are dying for me to give this to them. I can buy this item for the low cost of $13 plus $6 in shipping. Note that this does not include sales tax and the cost of losing a good friend.




• What do you think when someone gives you bath soap or scented oils for the holidays? Do you think I smell bad? For a measly $28 plus tax and shipping, you can give someone a 3 bar pack of lavender soap that will soothe and soften the wrinkles of the skin. For a mere $30 the soap can be personalized. Which means it will last a lifetime, because who wants to watch their name go down the drain?




• The Christmas Pickle. This was a tradition in Germany where parents would hide a pickle in the Christmas tree. You too can follow this lovely custom at a mere $9.00. Plus shipping and tax. Hmmm…that must be one heck of a pickle!




• The Knife Handler. Who wouldn’t want a 15″ figure of a person that you can “stab” out your aggressions when replacing the knives in the body of the figure! This comes with a variety of sharp instruments and is yours for only $99 plus shipping. It does not include attorney’s fees and court costs but it might be the perfect gift for the mystery author in your life.

I would love to see what other “cool” items I might have missed. Or you might have received! Leave a comment by midnight, December 19th, and you will be entered in the drawing to win a $10 Amazon gift card.

 


Congratulations to contest winner Alyx Morgan.

I used to say my epitaph would read “she never cooked a turkey although she dated a few.” The turkeys I wrestled with were never frozen, although they were definitely fresh.
 
Despite the fact that I was a mature woman in her mid-fifties, I was still a turkey virgin. Both of my ex-husbands, my mother, assorted relatives and friends had cooked many a turkey for my consumption.
 
But not me. Fortunately, I make an awesome prime rib, so when Thanksgiving rolled around my kids and I were the only beefeaters on the block. Formerly happy California cows provided our happy holiday meal.
 
But a couple of years ago, my turkey eschewing daughter informed me she wanted a big bird in the oven for a change. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I knew I could sway her back to my peppercorn prime rib. Then my son chimed in with the same request and I was doomed.
 
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I wandered into the Safeway and asked to speak to a butcher. I informed the burly fellow that I had never cooked a turkey, and I needed help purchasing one.
 
“YOU’VE never cooked a turkey?” he asked, staring doubtfully at my woeful and slightly wrinkled countenance.
“No,” I replied testily. “My husbands always cooked the turkey. I don’t need a husband. I just need a turkey!”
 
He rolled his eyes and pointed to the freezer compartment which at 6:01 p.m. contained exactly three turkeys. I had my bird. But despite the assurances of the butcher that my petite 9 lb. turkey would thaw out by morning, at 4:30 on Thanksgiving day, that sucker was still frozen solid. What’s a mother to do?
 
I shoved it in the oven and prayed.
 
At 8:30, I pulled out the golden brown turkey and handed it over to my knife-wielding son. He took one look at the pinkish meat and prepared for a bout of food poisoning.
 
Which did not occur. What did occur was the juiciest turkey dinner ever, surrounded by lots of love and laughter, especially when my out-of-control mixer sprayed whipped sweet potatoes across my kitchen cabinets. Who knew vegetables could add luster to old wood?
 
And that our turkey adventure would add luster to a favorite holiday!
 
Leave a comment about one of your holiday mishaps or adventures by midnight November 30th, and you’ll be entered in a drawing for a $25 gift card to…whatever you choose. It’s your gift!
 

Congratulations to contest winner Vicki Hencey.